My thoughts

2010-01-22T21:45:00.003+08:00

Back to blog...after a new year has started....haven been blogging....have been lazy or when have the mood...after typing i will be like erasing what i write...and finally make the decision not to blog...

Anyway...What have i been up to recently? Busy working and trying hard to study for exams....which one paper is down left with one more to go...I haven been exactly hardworking enough to really study...I think i will do quite badly for my first paper...Need to re tune and re focus on my life....Which i planned to doing a revamp in my lifestyle....so i can be more focused...

Catching up with a few friends over a drink or just going out seems to be a norm...but most of the times as usual being me...i would never open myself to people that easily...so be the usual listener and "advisor" for issues...sometimes it feels like it reach a point whereby all of us are so busy with our lives...so when we meet up we are like catching up on each other life....more and more of us seldom talk about personal problems we faced...but more of work and school....Time really flies....a moment we were in school the next out to face the cruelty of the society....those days were always fresh on mind when looking back at photos or just talking about it...hahas..i sound old as usual....

These few months...alot of changes took place....that sometimes wonder how it happen and why it happen...sometimes wish there could be someone that i can open up to totally to share every single thing on my mind...just listen....but i know for me to find that someone is not easy...is always easier to find an advisor but not a listener....someone that can relate but not worrying that the person will talk about you or look you in a different way once you share certain things...

Sometimes just wish to break free and take a break...to redefine what i want....somehow the feeling of lost came back...questions starts to pop out...is like rational and irrational...which is difference of a thin line....certain things i know what i want already but just need to implement...
yups...i guess i need time to sort out alot of things once my exams are over....need to refocus, re structure and be stronger...which i normally will be...its like a practising of who i want to be or rather what i want to portray...so no one will try and pry open the personal or private side that i dun wish to share...is like layers of doors..just which level i want you to reach or you are able to unlock...no one has ever made it to the final door yet...

I know i am blessed to have a lot of people caring and loving me...I am super aware of that....i know my friends i can always count on them...they just waiting for me to be able to be open with them or let down the "strong" side of me...cuz they always complain and voice their unjust...hahas...dunno who will read this post and decided that they should talk to me...hahas...but is okay...I will be alright...i will fix everything as usual...is only right....=)

Take Care...Blog again

2009-12-27T21:29:00.003+08:00

Back to blog...

Time really flies...in a wink of eye...a few more days to the end of the year again...

This year have been a eventful year...looking back i guess am quite lucky this year

Graduated from polytechnic which marks a new begining to the working society...

Found my first permanent job within two weeks after exams are over...plunged straight into working after prom...embark on the hectic journey of working and learning...making new friends

Learned the way of working life....my job can be routine or non-routine....sometimes can be hectic and sometimes not...but i guess i still can be stuck at it for another half a year or so... There were twists and turns along the way..but i am glad that i have people there to guide and help me along...got a promotion and increment...which i dunno is it good or bad...

Started Schooling...finding it hard to be focused and self discipline...but i have a goal to achieve in my mind...i do not wish to disappoint myself...I have layout a 3-yr route for studying...but of course it may change along the way....but i hope that i can acheive...but sometimes opportunities come along the way and if you do not grab it...that's it....

The past months many unexpected things happen...which made me realise that actually i am lucky and quite blessed...to acheive so much and be happy...I know the cost of every decision that i make....that's why i always never believe in regrets...although sometimes there are definately times when regret do take place...i can only blame myself for choosing that in the first place...

There a lot of things that i hope to acheive in 2010...hopefully it will come true...and will be a better year...

Owe a big thank you to all the people who have been there for me this year...and played a part in teaching me new things...

Hope that everyone will have a good year ahead...=)

2009-11-30T23:01:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

Realise a lot of the things...the world is not perfect...not only black n white...there are other colours...and alot of things fall into the gray scale...

Starting to wonder a lot of things..what i want in the end? there is always many choices and crossroads for me to turn and decide which way to go...every path i take there will not be any u turn that i can make...and every path will lead to a different outcome...the outcome is always unknown...certain things there is no second chance....there is always opportunity forgone...somehow certain decisions we make seems to be planned...the ppl u meet along the way and how they create small impacts in ur life...people that crosses path and leave footprints...

Time flies...the year coming to an end again...so fast...20 years just fly pass...every chapter will have a closing for it when times come...be it happy or sad..be sad or happy is just a choice to make and a thin line that separate both...I miss all my friends...

Anyway shall stop here...off to bed

2009-10-16T11:51:00.002+08:00

Haven been blogging for a long time ever since the last entry...

I guess fewer people visit this blog...compared to last time...

Walking out of grief...i realise is not an easy feat...each time i pass by CGH n visit ah ma at the Chai Chee....the feeling of sadness just came....each time hear ah ma talking about the past when he was around...just feel like crying...but i know cant because it will only make the people more sad..but he was so loving that everyone in the family misses him although he always behind the strict mask...each time at below the block...there is always this hope of wishing that he is sitting near the lift there waiting for me and smoking...and calling out to him when i am near the doorsteps...that day my sis ask me if i want to watch the video his friend compiled...the moments when he was alive to the funeral procession...and everyone has seen the disc...but i knew if i see the disc...i cant control my emotions...cuz there is still this regret for not able to fulfil wat i want to do for him...just even a simple giving him a red packet on CNY...because i am working my first full-time job...i am not able to do it...the next CNY will not be the same anymore....without him...it just seems not complete...i really wish he can attend my 21st birthday and involve in the next phase of my life...but i know is impossible but when memories are that and etached in the mind....is just hard to forget...when is someone so close and dear in ur heart and raise me up...

I still cant accept losing u...I know u will be watching over us...And i really love u dearly...

Updates about my life...

Have been busy with work...but things just not going on well...as motivation level decreases to the minimum..but i still can cope with it...

Seeing my friends all so stress over studies...i hope that can help them out a bit...just meeting for a simple dinner or just a simple sms to brighten up their day...

Have been drinking quite a lot these days...really got to cut down...

Watched the show 败犬女王...is a drama quite close to heart...esp the one would u chose feelings or qualities for marriage? feelings but simple or materials but fast feelings? Tough choice in life that people always have to make...and each turn and each corner of your life...there bound to be an unexpected surprise...and how you deal with that surprise is gonna change your life...

Last but not least....end with sth i read....

再好的东西都有失去的一天。再深的记忆也有淡忘的一天。再爱的人，也有远走的一天。再美的梦也有苏醒的一天。该放弃的决不挽留。该珍惜的决不放手，分手后不可以做朋友，因为彼此伤害过！也不可以做敌人，因为彼此深爱过
——莎士比亚

2009-09-21T12:21:00.002+08:00

On Friday Night...My grandfather just pass away...

It was a real sudden news...that i didnt believe it...i thought that he could go through another stage of my life with me...Friday that feeling was fear...i was trembling with fear for the first time when i heard the report of his situation...i prayed that he would pull through...the 3rd time was everyone was there by his bed...calling him...hoping that he would wake up n look at us...but he left at 4.25am in the morning...the feeling of watching the meter going flat...and yet there is nothing u can do really hurts...watching my grandma cannot accept the fact and crying...it hurts further...morning he was fine...and next he is not...his friends did not even believe because that morning itself they were having coffee together...

He took care of me since i was young...protecting us from our parents scolding and beating...buying sweet treats whenever we ask for...bringing us to his workplace...it just seems like yesterday...when we were young...he always brought us along to his truck where he will ferry the rice...and after that alone carry over 100 sacks of rice...more than 5 kg...unloading the goods...he is that strong...watching over all my cousins when they are young till they grow...never failed to remember our favourite dishes and cook for us whenever we were there...

I did not have the chance to repay back what he have done for us...that feeling was really bad and it hurt alot...everyone is talking about a doting grandfather although he does not show his emotions and express his love for us...but deep down we knew how much he loves us...

Now looking him lying there...each time i look...i still thought he is just sleeping and he will wake up....self conciously it became self denial...uncle said that he has actually lived another 8yrs of his life...because 8yrs ago when he first admit into hospital...he actually would have gone but he pull through...being able to see my youngest cousin grow up and having 5 great grandchildren is a blessing already...People says that he did not drag on and suffer and add on a medical burden to the family shows his love for us even when he has left he still think for the family...but i still cant accept the drastic change in the 12hrs...

No longer we can hear him walk with his slippers...the uniquely sound that he walk that we associate whenever he is coming home...No longer can hear him call us to eat...

It reallys hurt a lot...but i will slowly accept the fact...is really not easy...

Rest in peace ah gong...and i love u...

2009-09-17T20:48:00.002+08:00

Stop blogging for sometime le...so i am back...

A lot of events happen during this period of time...

1) Laofeng's 21st birthday...a super fun chalet...

2) meeting up with my babes for singing session, drinking and chill out

3) clubbing at phuture celebrate sherine's 20th birthday...

4) shopping...

5) movies...

the list goes on.....I have been real busy each day...
Sometimes when really stressed out, will think of those days in secondary where there are no worries...

2009-08-24T23:09:00.000+08:00

Back to blog after stopping for uber long...

Many Many things happen during the past week...I will just pen what i remember

That day went to watch up with my girl and dear fren...is a super nice show...super heartwarming and sweet...nice movie which i dun mind watch again...after that we were super random going supermarket and buying liquor and go dear fren house take and slack at my house balcony till 4am the nxt morning...we were drinking and chatting bout a lot of things...

spend most of the days with my girl...

Work was super hectic...

Last week also went to sang with my girls til morning...we made her so touched by singing friendship song for her...Love her...Girl u must know we are always there...just one call away...I see her stress also cant do much by just accompany and be the listening ear...

Yesterday night went to watch the proposal...the show not bad...but is quite interesting to see how they fell in love with one another...from a career woman to a "xiao nu ren" interesting show...next show i want to watch will be the ugly truth...=)

Hmm...today i am on leave...so i went out and go to NTU to accompany my girl for dinner and chatted with my OE...Lols..funny...and after that took the train home...just reach home not long ago...

that's all for now...and there is some problems with blogger now...=(

2009-08-14T23:52:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

Wednesday...suppose to be a good girl go home and rest after work..However, ended up met up with my girl and the friend she suppose to meet...after that went for dinner at tamp one...and went walking around...after which...went to CS and had drink...cuz dunno why mood super low these days...i think i almost finish a jug myself...cuz they keep re-filling my cup...=X after that went home...mind went blank and slept...

Thursday..suppose go do my threading...but ended up the person not free...so i met XY and go city hall to eat astons and walk around...saw a tube dress at O.A.M.C...quite nice with the vest...lols...although they having like 30% sale...i still considering...LOLs...den i just realise suntec the fountain can dedicate songs and laser message...dunno if it is chargeable..Hmm...anyone knows? it will be real sweet thing to do for ur loved ones....if it is not expensive...

Friday...today practically trying to clear all those outstanding issues on my desk...so i can like concentrate on my payroll next week...it is gonna be hectic week....Jia You to myself...LOLs....after that went dinner at bugis...and home sweet home...so guai right to be back home so early on a friday night...hahas

Cuz i cannot eat after 10pm...i am going for my checkup tml and for threading...after that see if anyone wanna meet up...So can go out chill...i dun wish to burn my sat....LOLs...

Yawns....getting tired le...Going off to bed soon~~

Random tot...

People are actually selfish by nature to an extend...
It was my dear fren who told me...
I agree to an extend...

When people have something that they have...and another thing that they want appears...they ar lost because they do not wish to give up what they have orginally and yet want to have a bit of the other thing...but there is nothing wrong it is human nature...

HAhas..that day was telling my girl...if there is really a perfect boyfriend robotlike that show i also want to have so i can just programmed to what i want...LOLs...there are pros n cons though...=X

2009-08-12T00:10:00.003+08:00

Back to Blog...

Was uber bored at work...did filing and interview the whole day...Not enough rest...could not get to slp last night...I think i fell aslep at about 3am ba...Hmm...was playing with my i-touch and pondering about things...

After work...met up with my girl...went to hand in my school fees and after that dinner and chilling session...talked about a lot of things...Sometimes I feel that people just need to be more open with their perspective of things...a lot of things society cannot accept does not mean is wrong...because answer is not always black and white...it can be grey at times when it comes to human emotions and feelings...Was thinking about quite a few stuffs...be it past, present & future...There are too many changes that i sometimes wonder what i really want...

感情无法控制因此没有对与错
跟着感觉走找到你要的幸福
但那需要很大的勇气

Shall stop here =)

2009-08-10T22:31:00.000+08:00

Back to blog...

My life as usual revolve around work and more work...LOLS...sound so no life...perhaps ba...
I really dunno le...

Thurs after work went for a drink...had a lot...mood was not that good...i think i finish almost 2 jugs myself...LOLs...too many things happen...guess i think too much...so affect the mood..After that went home and sleep...

Friday woke up super early to send my mum to work...had a super bad headache..After that went to work straight...then went home to rest for a while...then watch hangover at e-hub...a funny show...cant believe they had such an interesting and memorable bachelor's night..

Saturday...went dinner with my girl...chatted with her...slack at my house...and after that went to dicuss something came back and continue slacking...after that went to play mahjong...lose 3 bucks...lols..

NAtional day...went out with my mum in the afternoon buy some groceries...after that went to meet xy and slack...we chatted...and went to sing K...Lols...den went home and rest...

Wanna tell my girl...Those who hurt people intentionally will get their retribution one day...but we must learn to love ourselves more..and must change to make those who hurt u regret for not choosing u...and lead a better life....will sure find that someone who really loves and care for you..

Today...i slept throughtout the day...Yawns...still tired lols...going to sleep soon again ba...shall stop here...

2009-08-05T23:52:00.000+08:00

Back to blog...

Today work in the morning was tremndously stressful...almost broke down...but managed to finish everything in time...now almost done...just left with some month end routine reports to submit and can prepare for the next payroll liao...in 2 weeks time...the job i have makes me feel that time really flies...make me too busy to think about unhappy things or things that i should be bothered about...

I have a colleague that iam super close with...and i guess i am blessed as she have help me to learn how to be more confidence wearing different kind of outfits...and she is someone who can share all the office unhappiness cuz we have common people that we dislike...hahas...

was super uber sian after work so went out with her for dinner and did some window shopping...at least not going home.....cuz for the past 3 days i have been doing that straight after work...LOLS....this month really not much dates...I wanna watch UP & Hangover...I wanna go play pool...I wanna to chill...there is so many wants i want...but really rather hard to fulfil..be it timing or the right people...

我想了很多也不知道是否累了还是要求变高了
所以那么的不满足。。。

也渐渐的不清楚自己要的是什么是那么一点的关心及注意
还是继续的这样下去或许感觉已变了质只是一直不去面对
该好好的一个人想想

as we grow each day and as goals changes...slowly hings become complicated and complex...

没有开始就不会有结束

2009-08-03T22:45:00.000+08:00

Back to Blog...

Last Sat...had fun celebrating my girl's bday...finally she said goodbye to her teens...Had dinner at vivo mussels guys..
Dinner was not bad...but the service was uber-slow...after that cam-qwhore at the 3rd level of vivo..and off we go powerhouse...
Clubbing was great with the right people...real high...photos taking and dancing...realy had a lot a lot of fun...falling in love with clubbing with them...Just love my girls so much...but have to leave about 3am because the next day got to work...

Woke up at 7am...and rush to punggol for the career fair...lols...waste of time...cuz the crowd was not what we are targeting at and the event waas not right for recruitement..after that home sweet home...and nap...after that met my girls for dinner at tamp and we chatted at coffee bean...talked about past, relationships, future, work and many others..it is never ending..and the time we have seems so short for us to catch up with so many things...

An interesting analogy by my girl...she said when expectations are high for r/s...should watch drama..therefore we will believe in innocent love and just purely loving someone...lols...just like 恶作剧之吻 ...true...when we are in the reality of relationship...we tend to forget that actually love can be very simple...is just people make it complicated.. after which we went home...

Work was hectic today..with a lot of things cocking up early in the morning....i have never sat for longer than 3o mins on my chair...busy walking around...lols...after that went to tamp for dinner...and do some shopping...back home and uploaded the pictures on facebook...

真实及谎言早已分不清
我只相信自己的感觉。。。

That's all...shall stop here~~~

2009-07-31T23:57:00.000+08:00

Back to Blog...

Last Week...was super super drained...

anyway...friday night went out for movie with the group...Late night movie..almost died after that coz next day still got to work...lols...but it was not a bad show just too much dialouge...as usual...the last part of the show i teared...cuz is super sad...haiyo..not happy ending le...

Saturday..went for dinner and walk walk....and went home...Chatted about things which make me more sure that of kathy's prediction...weird people...sometimes is not about just being nice to a person...is about how sincere and how real everything is...just funny...is just the awkard feeling...is being back to normal so difficult...i wonder...maybe ba...not for me at least...

Anyway...sunday rot at home the whole day and went to 85 for dinner...miss all the food there...had a super full dinner...

Mon - Thurs nothing much happen...although unhappy at times during work...but no matter what stil have to pull through the day...really mentally drained everyday so slept real early...

Today went on a shopping spree...and felt guilty after that...bought one skirt, one top, one dress, one necklace and one blazzer...OMG...i cant believe it...i just bought so many things...haiz..think next time must find someone who is willing to sponser my shopping lols...=X hard to find...

Being random...

when words are said and not done..
When the timing is just not right..
when things are like a curve graph...
when is just empty promises...
when is just all words....
when trust is lost...
tell me why should i believe or why should i bother...
so just let things be...

i guess is super random...i think only a few ppl will understand what i am talking about...
(dun bother to guess)

That's all...take care...blog soon...

2009-07-21T21:31:00.002+08:00

BACK BLOG...

Work today was another day of madness...the pile of papers on my desk dies not seems to vanish instantly...sometimes i wish that there is a magic spell that can enable all the papers to sort into their files automatically with a "poof" and white flash....Hais...but i know that it will never happen...

I losing my motivation le...how?? I hate to lose drive in whatever i do...cuz it will be so boring to drag urself to work...but really discovr alot alot of flaws...which is hard to overlook in the scope...shall tolerate for another one more year...gain enuff...den hop n hop...

Enuff bout work...i miss all my friends...miss the slacking sessions & talking about life...watching movies....going chill by the beach...clubbing and drinking...really miss those days....=)

I believe in actions speaks louder than words...

Shall stop here...

2009-07-21T00:13:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

today work was hell...I was like super busy from the moment i switch on my com...till the end...endless of calls...multi-tasking and checking my payroll...and with some irrating people keep irritating me for things that i obvious haven finished...is not that easy to check the payroll of more than 200 staffs and doing the summary...

I think i almost fainted during lunch..cuz i only drank milk for breakfast...and i was too busy to even eat...but i did ate a little...

Hmm..last night was talking to a friend on msn...was just trying to have a normal conversation but as usual it always turn out otherwise...is it because the concern that is given is always from the wrong point of view...i guess so...is always what he think is the best for me is the best for me...or what he thinks is nice to me..it will be nice to me..but sad to say...it is not that way...i have my own opinions and everything...does not mean i have to return whatever that as anticipated...hais..blur...

talked to my girl regarding that...and she warned me to be careful...but i really dun like to doubt ppl's intention on me...cuz is the feeling sucks...but yet i know not everyone is truly nice and really wants to protect me...is difficult to know what a person is thinking...

hmm...i shall stop here...=) Take cAre

2009-07-19T22:50:00.002+08:00

Back to post...

Last weekend...went to genting..it was fun & great trip...played real hard...i think i went with the right ppl...therefore it is super fun...maybe in sept...will plan another one...before all of them enlist...i will miss the fun with all of them when they all enlist into army...Somehow wish the trip was a little longer...

Came back was swarm with loads of work to finished up...payroll, increment letters & others staff matters...and it was real mind challenging...and the worst part of it...is to have ppl be it intentionally or untentionally sabotaging u to do double work...which really makes u lose motivation...and ppl conveniently finishing their work and not offering their help...really whatever...but i guess that is just working life...there will be friends & foes...at least i know how to differentiate...

my sat was spent at work for half day and the rest hibernating at home...had a real good rest...till this morning...

hmm..thinking the unfinished payroll that i have to finish by tml and the enormous amount of filing to be done...i feel like i need double motivation to make sure my desk is cleared by tues...i hate to pile papers at my desk...

i shall stop here...=)

2009-07-11T23:25:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

July le...time really flies...

Good news...i am accepted in by the university...and at least in october i will have another motivation for me to work hard...I hope i can acheive what i want...afterall..i will pay half the fees myself..

Last week had a full week of activities...meeting my girls...chatting about our past, present and everything under the sun...really makes me miss those days when we were young and "innocent"...not corrupted by all the politics or any bad things...

I also think that mindset is very important...people of experience always tell me..."you dunno de...you too young le...not everyone can believe"...but sometimes there are really nice people out there but just the way we handle and do things is different...therefore there are conflict...I believe the world is still beautiful although i have seen many dark sides...

Had a chalet last week....and get to know more of the company people...interesting chalet...but also tiring...but i had fun...

I guess i am not good at handling relationship in a way...at times...i dunno what i can do to make time turn back...then maybe all that would not have happen and everyone will be better off...and happy...I know is impossible...hais....i am really lost...i guess only my dear friend would understand waht i am rattling about and feeling ba...

I really feel like changing my number again...dun let anyone find me...only those that i want them too...cuz i know i can never be alone and never will like that feeling...

I shall stop here...off to bed

2009-06-27T20:39:00.003+08:00

Back to blog...

Haven been blogging for a week...

I gues there was not much mood to blog...

Currently...i am sick again...when to docs today but it was close...so ended up at home...and just wake up after sleeping...seriously...not feeling very well...

Hmm...cant really back track what i have been doing without calender...

But this week was busy preparing the upcoming chalet....and finishing the last payroll....i am glad that i loved my job...cuz although sometimes there will be cock ups...but at least i think i learned a lot along the way...how communication and choice of words is so important...

I know there are people that have high expectations of me...I am glad that it s being told to me...so i will try and do my best...Cuz i do not like to disappoint myself and neither the person who have gave me lots of opportunities to learn...so i have to learn to be smart...which i will try my very best...

Yesterday...went to singapore swimming club for dinner...my colleague a member there...i fell in love with the swimming pool there...super nice...and the club really got a lot of facilities...the dinner was not bad...i think club is cool...had a lot of talks about office....be it politics or just people that all detest...had a few drinks and went home...

Sometimes i wonder why people do not match their actios with words...all spoken before are just words without any support...and expectations for return...ya definately...every actions that you do for people somehow u will expect some return from it....i cant understand why...if that is the expense of the friendship...so be it...i am sick and tired of explaining myself...time n time again because...if those who dun understand me well enough...will still do not get it even if i explain 100times...

Just being very random in my post...

Off to rest....i am really sick...

2009-06-14T20:30:00.004+08:00

Back to blog...

This week have been a week full of activities...

08/06 - Met up with JQ they all for dinner at 168 Bedok South...It was a simple affair...but it was fun...as usual...their childish also manage to make dinner fun...afterwhich, we went to cash studio at bedok for ktv-ing session...after so long...hahas...And, it was the first time...four cars...but too bad not the whole group was there...

09/06 - went for course in the morning...which end at 3plus...after which...went to slack..den met a friend for dinner...that evening was an expected evening...didn't expect...mixed confusion...anyway just let things takes its course...btw...watch the show hannah montana the movie...was a nice show...=)

10/06 - went for course again..this time end at 3plus...went to watch move...dance subaru...a nice show...how her passion for dance and how the people round her supported her in one another way...and her spirit for dance keep her going on in acheiving her dreams...after which went for dinner at plaza singapura...

11/06 - met my bestie for dinner at simpang bedok meeting ed they all...but as usual they always late...after dinner home sweet home...cuz i was not feeling well...

12/06 - met bee ean for dinner at tamp...chill & shop & just catch up about each others' lives...it was fun and simple dinner...

13/06 - went for my dear friend's POP...His POP cool...got skit, got drill, got physical dance...talking about their BMT...I personally like the physical and the drill team the display...very nice...the music and their moves...fit in so perfectly...and really cool...ya..i guess after BMT...They all become men...LOLs....anyway, after that went to airport for lunch with my friend and his parents...and home sweet home...at night went for dinner at tamp...and for a movie...the land of lost...quite a funny movie...and went down to boat quay to drink...did not drink much ytd...I think my throat was not feeeling that well...but went home at 5.30am in the morning...

14/06 - I woke up at 2plus in the afternoon and went out to play pool wth my khakis...got one time i one cue lols...so happy..and after that home sweet home...=)

A lot of have been going through my mind...like what my dear friend say to me...dun worry and slowly observe and make the choice that i want...I am glad that i have my dear friend always there...to be my listener and advisor....=)

2009-06-07T20:35:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

This week have been a busy week of meet-ups & work...

Work was hectic this week...cuz is month end....

1st of June...Monday...met up faris, his gf and trevor for a dinner...at pizza hut...super long never eat there le...lols...it was a great dinner of jokes & updates about each other lifes...cuz we like uber long never meet one another le...hahas...

2nd June....went for ABP event with my company...had loads of fun....drank lots of beer...sing and played pool...get to know my colleagues better...hahas...it was party night...

3rd June...Went for open house at kaplan...i think high chance is that i am so going to take up the course le...cuz is recognised and short duration...=) must thank sherine for accompanying me to the talk...after that we went to cineleisure to eat dinner and chatted...alot....love her company...

4th June...went shopping with my colleague....hahas...is like the first ever time i go shopping for like 3 hours...literally walking and trying all the clothes....had fun after that had mac for dinner

5th June..suppose to watch movie...end up the tickets sold out...hahas...den went to tanjong pagar had dinner...it is a ulu place but the food is really great....=)

6th June...work in the morning and after that went home and rest...Met with my last sem group mates for dinner at city hall...kenny rogers...had a great dinner...ceasar salad was nice...had a short catch up...and sth happen at work...but managed to settle...after that kenneth drop me off at double o...met up with all the party khakis for the day and we were all busy drinking since 9.40pm till late night...lols...had fun partying with them...hope there is once more this kind of party...

today...woke up and cut my hair...and slack at home the rest of the day and busy face-book-ing...hahas....lols...I am bored...tml must go work...sians...hahas...take care ppl...update soon...

I hope i am right...

2009-05-31T21:21:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

Had a tiring day today...

Last night reach home at 4am....After mj-ing....lost a bit....really not enough rest...=(

This afternoon wake up at 12 plus and went out straight..went to meet the group at bedok interchange...just realise i super long never go bedok le..ever since i moved to tamp...hmm...
anyway went to the pines for the carnival...was alright...felt young ago with the group around...haha...forever de....had fun at the carnival..and the carnival king is none other than JQ...
After which, we went to food expo....okay la..but compare the years ago...is like not as great as it first started....next hop to john little sales...nothing much there too....Den home sweet home...

Time really flies..half a year gone le...all my close friends going into army le...dunno if next time can we still go for things like that together...have fun and just be young...=)

Cant remember really remember the past of myself and the me now...but there is definately a great difference...after all..things changes us...

I always believe if you want to care for someone...care it from you heart...do not expect for anything in return...I just cant understand why some people do not get it...care and concern should be given sincerely...not unwillingly and expects something from it...being the receiver if you ever know that is unwillingly...u will be real fed up ba....

I think i shall stop here...tml is gonna be a busy day ahead...so must have ample rest tonight...=)

2009-05-30T18:47:00.002+08:00

Back to blog..

Currently...i am stoning...

A lot have happen over this week...

Monday went to sing K at teo heng with my girls...they rocks...love them...but i think i was most of that time that day...hahas...learning new songs so can emo and sing in ktv...\

Tuesday to Thursday...basically rot at home...however, at night always got calls from friends and i still went out..=X but at least i go home for dinner...

Friday night...was spent at pool spot...celebrating shuang ying's birthday...i am glad that she like the present we gave her...

today...went to work...and cleaned my desk....lols...cuz not yet payroll nothing to do...hahas...den went do some shopping....bought a perfume, a shower gel and taylor swift cd...i actually wanted to buy another one too...but too ex le...=( hmm...still thinking should i buy...

Blog later again...now no mood and lost for what to write,..just updating my boring life...i am going take a short rest...=)

2009-05-24T03:30:00.002+08:00

Back to blog again...

is 3.30am in the morning...and i am still awake...cuz i just reach home not long ago...

Was out since afternoon...meeting my dear friend and his bunk mates...after that went pool and after that went back to meet my dear friend and his division mate...interesting people i met...but the guys were really gentlemen...cuz other friends got other plans...so only my dear friend as usual steady and on....i guess if without him i would feel so alone...but i know he will always be there even though he is in camp most of the times...like what he wrote in his blog..."shes like a girlfren without all the relationship liabilities, someone who cares for me like she care for a family"...just like how i see him as...

Watch "Night at the Museum 2" not a bad show...quite funny...every show has a meaning to tell...i glad i watch it...=)

have been thinking a lot...what i really want...now at crossroads...prioity changes...i guess i will need to figure out...i know it take time...fell in love with Taylor Swift Songs...i want her album...is so meaningful...some song just describe the feelings right now...i can relate...

I dislike the word "promise"...cuz it is just a word that can never be trusted and is always meant to be broken...at least to me...cuz my girl if she read this...she is gonna to argue with me...cuz her stand is promise is always a promise...Lols..

I am just sick and tired of promises...and words that are said without meaning it...i begining to lose faith and trust...I think i need a break...

That's all...i gonna sleep...

2009-05-23T13:15:00.003+08:00

Back to blog...

This week was uber busy..with the usual hectic routine of payroll and receiving complaints about supevisors..It interesting cuz is how people do things that affect others and feeling sad for the people...but yet...have to strike the balance of being nice and thinking for the interest of the company...is never easy to strike that and afterall is dealing with human...human is ever changing...I am falling in love with my job...at least i am learning sth and gaining different perspective in life...=)

Nowadays i really cant back track of what i am i doing for the past one week...memory getting real bad...=( Hmm...but i try...

18th...went to send a friend off at airport....cuz he is going for holiday in australia for a month...so good life lo...i also want...

19th..went for my graduation ceremony in the afternoon...finally i graduate with a diploma...the feeling was time really flies..the three years...for me the three years was rather simple...but the best moment was the internship and my final semester cuz i really had a great project group...although there were downs...After which, went for gelare waffle with kathy and her mum...and next meet mr chan and his clique for k box...but i never sing much...cuz not my clique..lols...

20th...suppose to go butter fac...but i gave a miss.

21st...went for supper at changi village with the group for dim sum...saw the accident aftermath...it was really scary...a normal size car reduce to just flattened metal...luckily i wasnt driving that day...it was too scary for me...after which went to ck hse for mahjong...

22nd...i got half day off...and met my mum for lunch at tamp...after that went home and nap...and woke up late...lols...met my girls at 7.30pm...and went for light dinner....and after that mac cafe slacking session...update about our lives...chat about the past....talk bout guys...as usual girls talk...it really have been very long since we met together...it was really a nice session...i guess all the incidents in our lives be it good or bad have changed us...and make us face the reality...when we were young..we believe in everlasting love and the nice prince potray in fairytale...but now...all of us no longer believe in that...and is wondering will we ever find someone that we see as "perfect" in our eyes...lols...but i am glad my girls are strong...the difficult period in their lives they will able to get through and emerge as a stronger person...I love them...

after that...i went to pool spot find christine and chat...she is another girl that i admire her personality an d courage in life...and home sweet home...

This morning was woken up by the renovation upstairs...sians...forever...every weekend...thought can sleep late on a non-working saturday...but is always spoilt by renovation...=( now i am thinking should i go out with my dear friend and his bunk mates for lunch...Hmm...wondering...

I chance upon the answer...hopefully nothing changes...

okay...updates my next week schedule...

Mon - Singing Session with my girls (tentative)
Tues - Tiger Event @ Tuas
Wed - Kaplan Open House
Thurs - Blank
Fri - Blank
Sat - Double O and Rebel with my girls (tentative)
Sun - Pines Country Club Carnival

I shall continue nua-ing at home while i decide what to do...=X

2009-05-20T22:30:00.003+08:00

男孩和女孩从小就认识，男孩经常约女孩一起去村外的池塘边捉小虾，每次男孩总是满载而归，女孩却是两手空空，女孩总是失落的含着眼泪，独自一个人回到家，然后闷闷不乐。晚饭前，男孩敲响女孩家的门，女孩一见是男孩，扭头就走，男孩追上前，对女孩说：“对不起，我把你的虾都捉走了，给，我把它们养在小鱼缸里，送给你。”女孩眉头一放，慧心的笑了，就这样反复着他们纯纯的童年，转眼，他们各自成长着。

——纯纯的“对不起” 。

男孩总是喜欢戏弄女孩，经常会把女孩逗到哭，然后又去哄女孩到她笑为止，直到长大后，也是如此。男孩经常偷偷的把女孩的自行车轮胎的气放到没有，然后躲在远处，看女孩着急的走投无路，等着女孩拨通他的手机，然后破口大骂他的小贼行为。可男孩，依旧那么喜欢这样的女孩。他窃窃的从远处走来，灰溜溜的为女孩推着那辆没了气的自行车，任由女孩在一旁发牢骚，男孩却暗自窃喜，然后委屈的对女孩说：“对不起，我知道错了。”随即，女孩便会柔弱下来，告诉男孩下次不允许那样，男孩点头，于是，那时的他们每天都充满着笑容。

—— “对不起”的快乐。

大学毕业后，男孩和女孩各自有了工作，男孩的工作总是很忙，有时一个月都休息不到一次，而女孩总是抱怨男孩冷落了她，终于，他们有了第一次的吵架。女孩委屈的哭起来，可男孩却很理直气壮的告诉女孩：“这是为了我的工作。”这场冷战持续了很久。终于，女孩还是忍不住，主动和男孩和好了。后来很多次男孩和女孩都因为这样的小事而吵得不可开交，可每次，都是女孩先妥协。那年，女孩生日，男孩答应女孩要给他过一个浪漫的生日，女孩欣喜不已，她在家精心打扮，等着男孩回来陪她渡过这个美妙的生日，这一等就是凌晨，女孩在睡梦中醒来，脸上挂着泪痕，男孩见到女孩，心疼的为女孩擦去脸庞的泪痕：“对不起，嫁给我好吗？”于是男孩拿出一枚戒指。

—— “对不起”也是一种承诺。

婚后，男孩的事业大有成就，经常有许多应酬，而女孩已经成为一个专职太太了，每天在家为男孩准备热菜热饭，把家里收拾的干干净净，她经常会去菜场买回一些小河虾放在鱼缸里养着，男孩总问他为什么，女孩却总是慧心的一笑。慢慢的，男孩每次回家，身上总是充满了不同的香水味道，而每次没等女孩问，男孩总是忙着解释说应酬太多。女孩黯然，那时起，女孩不太爱说话了，也不像以前那么开朗了，她总是喜欢成天的呆在家里，抱着枕头看韩剧，然后随着剧情哭泣，夜深时，就会疯狂的大哭。以后的日子里，男孩回来时，身上的香水味只有一种味道了，女孩从来不问，可是男孩依旧说：“对不起，今天又去应酬了。”

—— “对不起”，谎言的开始。

渐渐的，男孩开始不回家，或总是在外出差，男孩的事业越来越好，身边都是奉承的人，他每天都在别人的恭维下自豪的笑着，而女孩，几乎不出门了，她总会去超市买上很多方便面，和一些必要的日用品，然后把自己关在家里，这一呆就是很久。从前，女孩会经常和男孩一起聊聊天，而现在，她孤身一人，身边没有一个可以说话的人，每次打电话问男孩什么时候回家，男孩总是仓促的回答到：“对不起，我太忙了。”女孩，失落的扣上电话，那以后她再也没有问男孩什么时候会回家。

—— “对不起”，只是个敷衍的方式。

女孩学着电视上的样子，开始打扮自己，她觉得男孩不回家，也许是看腻了她，她决定不再颓废，自己的幸福应该靠自己争取，而不是无谓的后退。那天，女孩心血来潮，按照地址去了男孩工作的地方，那是女孩第一次去，也是唯一的一次。女孩涩涩的按下电梯，来到这个男孩经常说忙的地方，她细细的观察这个公司的每个角落，这里的一切，她都觉得很好看。终于，绕过长长的办公走廊，她来到男孩的办公室，轻轻的推开门……女孩愣住了，眼前看到的不是自己的丈夫，也不是那个经常弄坏她自行车的那个贼小子，更不是那个把虾放在小鱼缸里的男孩，而是一个正在和别的女人做爱的男人。那个女人坐在桌子上，******的发出微弱的呻吟声，那个男人，仿佛山林里饿极了的野兽……许久，男孩才发现了女孩，男孩惊慌失措，忙把衣裤捡起来穿好。可女孩，转身离开了。男孩飞奔出去，追着女孩，那晚，大雨袭击了整个城市。女孩不顾男孩的叫喊，径直往前跑，往回家的方向跑，男孩在女孩后面大喊：“对不起，我还是爱你的，对不起，我真的只爱你。”可女孩，始终没有听见。

—— 这样的“对不起”太伤人。

男孩一直都没有找到女孩，女孩失踪很久了。男孩的世界已经一片黑暗，无心工作，无心花天酒地，他想不到女孩可以去哪里，因为女孩没有朋友，她唯一的朋友就是男孩，男孩终日守着电话机，手机24小时不关机，怕错过了女孩的电话。这一等就是半年多。快递为男孩送来一个盒子。男孩打开一看，里面是许多河虾的标本，有的在树叶边休息，有的在水草里躲着，各式各样的河虾标本，旁边放着一封信。“ 我始终没有勇气再见到你，可能是我太懦弱，也或许是我根本不想见到你，我想这些『警告：注意文明用语！』应该过的没什么两样吧，我很好，我学会了离开你怎么让自己存活，我懂得了怎样赚钱养活自己，而不用每天等着你回家，为你烧一桌热腾腾的饭菜，直到凉了也不见你的人，我的手机已经不用了，因为我已经不会再为你24小时的不关机，让自己饱受辐射的折磨。我懂得怎样去爱惜自己，珍惜自己的本来应该美好的生活。我想，我是可以忘记怎么去爱你的，因为你把我的爱弄得遍地麟伤。离婚协议书，就压在鱼缸的底下，你签完字，按照地址给我寄过来就行了。对不起，我想我是真的累了。”

男孩按照地址找去，他满心希望能够见到女孩，然后让女孩原谅，并且告诉女孩自己不能没有她，可是打开门的却是女孩的父亲，而女孩就站在她父亲的身后——是女孩的遗像。女孩的父亲告诉男孩，女孩在写完这封信后，跳楼自杀了，血肉一片模糊。

—— 原来“对不起”也可以是种结束。

那一年，男孩疯了。

每个人在自己的生命里头，一定会遇到一个自己真正该珍惜的人。请你好好的珍惜那一个人，不是每一句的对不起，都可以换来每一句的没关系……千万不要辜负了自己心爱的人，那对谁，都不好……把这个故事传下去，让你的朋友们知道，不要随意地说出对不起......

看了有什麽感觸嗎?
心疼?
傷心?

Took this story from kat's blog...is a very sad story...really very touching...love the people you love and cherish them...

2009-05-15T00:13:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

current mood - stoning to the max and tired

Just drove around and a lot of mistakes that can be avoided..cuz i think i am really tired...
Suppose to be a rather slack day at work...but end up a lot of things happen so have to settle...so fast...saturday payroll again...super fast lo...sianz...Stress le...cuz i want to make it for my grad ceremony...

Alot of unhappy things happen in the past week but is me always wake up and forget...which is good...do not hold grudges...

Yesterday went out with my girl...went for dinner and also coffee...chat alot about recent happenings and an update about each other lives...at this age...a simple dinner just for catch up is good enough...as time pass and more things in life have to learn to be contented...

Tues...watch Ramen Girl...the plot is nice...however i think it will be much more heartwarming if the girl could understand her teacher...it was quite funny...=)

then last night i chance upon something...i hope that it wont come true..

i think that's all...loss for what to say...

learn to let go...

2009-05-10T22:01:00.003+08:00

Back to blog...

Friday...went home for a dinner with my parents and my tenant at Waraku at ECP...okay...the food is not bad...but service i think can improve...alot more...after that went to chomp chomp meet the group and slack den went to bedok mac to slack...am i super kuku lar...on expressway on high beam all the way le...sianz...hopefully the drivers on the roads dun hate me...did not do it on purpose...hahaz...

Saturday...Vesak day...went for dinner...den went to play pool alone...do some training...hahas...had nice chat with the girls there..they are real cool people...till about one plus two...home sweet home...

Today...went for facial treatment in the afternoon...went home and slp...cuz i really very tired...lols...till about 7pm...den went for dinner with parents...and now at home...going out soon...today in a bad mood...

i just hope those who dun understand me well enough..dun assume what you do for me is the best for me...i am an individual and highly protective of my privacy...so if you think you want invade the privacy i have den F off from my life..what you think is the best for me may not be the best for me...be it your intentions are good...just to help me...but if i dun want...dun come and try...cuz i will just show my attitude and dun expect me to feel bad...cuz i dun care...just beacuse u are nice does not mean i have to...cuz i have no obligation...I am just pissed off with whatever that happen...ppl trying to seek help on my behalf...thinking that i need that...and trying to render help so i will be so touched...hahaz...what a joke...all these ppl just do not know me well enuff...that's all i am going to say...

I am out to party...

2009-05-07T21:53:00.003+08:00

Back to blog...

Hmm...I am currently super tired...

Last Saturday...went out to play pool and dinner was at simpang...After which went to fetch my parents from airport den went drinking at night till 5am again...but that day drinking was real fun...played dice games and drink like free flow..drank martell...i kena a few times...cuz the game is like must play probabilty..den a few times is kena sabotage...after that went a long ride home...cuz is must send a friend home first and stop over at petrol kisok...super long never drink like mad...ever since china...Love that...

Sunday...went to tamp one shop with my friend...and i spend 100 dollars on two dress, 1 cardigan and a handbag...omg...can u believe i shop...aiya...cuz the dress was on sale...i saw another dress that i wanted to buy but is like 59.90...ex hor...but i really like...maybe buy next month...den i also want to buy a perfume...very nice smell...62.40...LV de...lols...haha...too many wants...lols...

Monday...payroll day...super busy till now...super stress at work lo...tml alot of work...this month seems to fly past so fast...i guess is becasue doing payroll ba...

Oh ya...ytd went to chalet at sentosa...the chalet is quite cool..but is very difficult to go there...i almost lost my way...and when i walk towards the chalet the road no one de...very scary lo...very long nv go to vivocity and sentosa already eversince sem 2.1...some memories just flood back....that period of time when i was studying there...

alright that's all...i am off to bed...=)

2009-05-01T05:03:00.002+08:00

back to post...

It's 5 am in the morning i just reach home...today drinking was not high enough...one bottle of 42 below...one flaming lamborgini...and martell does not seem to have the effect...i miss those days where everyone get high...

This week i have been going out alot...ytd also went drinking@ K box...super fun...you need to go the right place with the right ppl... i wonder how long can i still enjoy with my friends while i can...all going to army soon...but i know they will be there when i need them...

Hmm...maybe go watch movie when i wake up...

I tried not to think to much...but i can't help but think...
I begin to wonder why we started...
Changes is part and parcel...
give & take...
but i still ponder...

2009-04-28T00:49:00.003+08:00

Back to blog...

什么时候开始变了？我也不是道自己要的是什么。
往下走的路会如何? 感觉不到也看不到。
或许有太多的自由，或许是习惯。
我不会去想，让感觉顺其自然。
美好的日子值得怀念。当我们年少无知时。。。

That's all...

2009-04-26T16:48:00.002+08:00

back to blog...

slept for like ten hours today..but i am still tired...LOL...

Looking forward to next week...cus it will be a week of fun-filled activities...I really want to have fun and party...super depreived of FUN...lols...

Sian...next week no long weekend...cuz sat have to work half day...=( but i am so going to party on thurs night and get high...

Sometimes wonder why ppl like to blog war...and insult ppl...I guess it always repeat whenever some ppl are unhappy with what other ppl say...but is so funny way to get back...but is interesting to see how ppl degrade themselves to the extend of insulting others with those uncivilised words and condeming others as if they know what is going on with the person lives...and worst the ppl who insult using those uncivilised words is a female...i guess that girl who insulted is she herself just show how much she do not respect herself...

Everytime things will turn out that way...and the problem is always the same thing...so the cycle repeats...sometimes appreciation is unspoken...but does not mean do not take it to heart...certain things know le...sometimes there is a lot of reasons why reciprociation does not take place...why do ppl always say things that upset...and after that apologise or regret? is just a normal reaction i guess cuz i do that too...hahaz...whatever...i really got nothing to say anymore...just that ppl dun know me well enough...

my boss told me sth ytd...

When woman wants to keep a man, they have to understand their man...男人是用来了解的。
When man wants keep their girl, they have to love them. 女人是用来爱的。

funny lo...hahaz...

That's all...i am going to stone...

2009-04-25T02:07:00.006+08:00

Current mood - super tired

I just came back home not long ago...

today work was alright...and after that went for the first threading session of my life...is damn cool...the lady is really skilled...which minimise a lot of pain...as usual ppl always like to say...there is no ugly woman only lazy woman...true...lols...after which went to marina foodcourt and have dian xin...not bad...but a little pricely...

rush home to get car...den alot of unhappy things happen...perhaps it just happen all at the wrong time...whatever...

i guess sometimes when u treasure things and willing to make sacrifices, but not everyone appreciate it...that's why i never believe in promises..never want to have any expectations...cuz the fall will always be hurtful...and just make u lose more trust...

My shoulder aching badly...going rest soon...I think next month i want do a full body checkup...

take care...

i falter once again...i beginning to feel that i have lost alot...and i have changed...i am sick n tired...really...i tried...

2009-04-22T21:16:00.002+08:00

back to post...

currently - looking like a panda.

I have been trrying to sleep..but is so difficult...lols..

work have been alright after payroll but one more weeek to the next...and time flies...four more days to one month at work....have anyone work for consecutive 20 days without off?? lols...is cool...is just like workaholic life...lols..hahaz..

sian...i want go take up classess soon...if not i am super bored..i cannot believe every night time seems to tick so slowly...haha...but morning time flies...

oh ya...i think i never talk about an weird uncle...that day i was on my way to work...rushing...den walk past this uncle...then he talk to me...out of courtesy i answered him...and after that he gave me his no. and ask me miss call him...but up to today he nv msg or call me...maybe he was on a truth or dare game and he is doing a dare...LOL...just funny people...i guess i really meet funny and interesting ppl in my life...some make impact some dun...haha...

I want go beer fest...waiting for my friend reply...sianz...want go party...i miss partying...=)

okay...take care i shall stop here...

2009-04-20T23:21:00.002+08:00

Back again...

Today super tired and stressful day i had...have been battling with tons of paper...imagine checking thru more than 250 ppl pay and printing all sorts of reports to get ready before 3pm... yups...so guess what...i skip my lunch and have bread...cuz was super busy...trying to finish everything...17 outlets...almost died...lols...sian...dunno should go for grad ceremony...cuz next month authorisation only have two n half days to finish...den if i take off...left one and a half and is almost impossible to finish...sianz...shall see how it goes...although leave is approved...

went to have popeye at airport to have dinner...airport is like dead de lo...Terminal three uber quiet...lols...after that home sweet home...

I met a new friend...she is an interesting person...and guess what our birthday is just a day apart...i admire her straightforward and courage towards life...after hearing her story...just got enlightened...she is a nice person and i glad that i know her...

sian...tml another round of hectic-ness...ten more days to another round of war with papers...time flies cuz every two weeks payroll makes time zooms like fighter jet for me...weekends also seems to pass by so quickly...

looking forward to the end of the month...

27th or 28th - meeting kathy (my poly best friend...love her)
29th - meet up with my ex-colleague celebrate birthday (miss the days working with them)
30th - drinking party with fun ppl (gonna to party)

exciting hor...lols....=X

shall stop here...

2009-04-19T00:41:00.002+08:00

Back to blog again...

seems like i am rather good at doing a consistent update for this month....

work was tiring today...cuz is like stress...when doing payroll so many things have to see and i am doing pay for 200 over ppl...plus have to muti-task handling question, translation and alot more duties...hahaz...but i love the job cuz is challenging...I am slowly getting use to the pace at work...i want to do more at work if possible..such as planning events for staff...cuz i just love planning...the feeling is great to accomplish something and seeing everyone happy at the end of the day...

Yups...sms a friend yesterday and chatted...cuz he say i nv msg him...lols....as usual talk lame stuff and crap...but interestingly...i know him but we really seldom keep in contact but when we sms still can talk crap...funny hor...lols...

Kind of miss my dear fren's call...feel so bad that could not pick up his call last night cuz i was out...den this morning he sms me to say he have to go for road parade 3 days...so cannot talk to him...Hmm...two years of friendship le ba...is like a great friendship...
Sometimes i really wonder how people know each other...is just like my dear friend...if i never go for his birthday chalet that time...i would not have known him...and he is really a great friend...a good listener and definately someone who will help me no matter at what time of the day...i will never forget the words he said to me when i was at my down period and when i needed help with trivial matters like cat...lols...

Watch the movie...Revolutionary Road...a nice show...reccommended to watch...is how the real world is...i remember sth in the movie was that "why people work jobs they do not like?" the reason was because they all have family to support and the pay is good...true...the show reflects on the lives of many people...and people are always living in denial and feel that they are happy when they get money and a full family...and not pursuing their dreams...it may not seems realistic...i like another thing the movie said was it takes a lot of courage to pursue what you really want and get out of the hopeless and emptiness feeling in life...but the ending was sad...really sad...i teared...I dun mind watching the show again...but i want to watch 17 again first...

Woman always change themselves to suit the guy they love...do things to please the guys they love...and hoping to change the guy they love to be a man...but in the end....guys take them as an excuse to run away from reality...interesting...but woman always love bad boys...cuz they like to change someone to good...another thing i read before...but i think is rather true...

Had dinner at 85...and it was not a real good experience...cuz met one stupid auntie which forbids us to join table...is like WTF...lols...i scolded all the bad words...but really very fed up...lucky for her the food came late...if not i think i might just take the bowl of chilli and just splash it at her...who cares when u are really fuming...haiz..sad..my friends say i very fierce...last time i not like that de...maybe ba...i change alot from last time...from the fragil me to the me now...alot of things shape me to who i am today...especially those incidents that really hurt alot...but i have to protect myself and my loved ones...it really had been a long time i never cry out loud...i think ever since that time...

but always know that 坚强的背后永远有脆弱的一面...

okay that's all for this post...seems quite long...take care~~~

2009-04-16T22:48:00.003+08:00

Back to blog again...

People must be thinking why i so free...lols...cuz i really got nothing to do...
the night is still young...lols...

I want to say a huge thank you to kat for helping me to change my blogskin and put in songs...

Thank You...Love you! Muacks!

Work was uber boring today...cuz no punch cards up to office yet....hmm...the later it comes means the more i have to do in the next few days...was looking through the net and i had nothing better to do and list down the movie i want to watch...

1) Revolutionary Road - opens today

2) 17 Again - opens today

3) Ploy - May 7
4)Ramen Girl - May 7
5)CLAUSTROPHOBIA - May 7
6)Ghosts of girlfriends past - May 7
7)Up - June 2009

Oh my god...like 7 movies...hahaz..my colleague was saying i was a movie freak..but is not...is just happen now got the time to enjoy...not like last time...so anyone want to watch the above show can date me out...Lols...

Time has come to a stage where i began to falter on the dreams and promises made...when i knew i am too independent to rely anyone for the care i need...like i mention previously...i can never be the little girl that most men want to dote on...cuz i am a pratical lover...bad or not? it really does not matter...cuz i can survive well enough without a guy & love...=X

Hope you all like my new blog skin...i am off to bed...parents nagging for using com too long...if not when electricity bill comes i think i have to pay...=X Take Care~~

Funny...when i was thinking about the past of what has happen...i really wonder what was the underlying reason...but i know that i will never know...i am always just playing along and learning the lessons hard...

2009-04-15T22:45:00.003+08:00

Back to blog...

My shoulder is really aching...haiz...i think that part i stiff le..must go for massage...
went on facebook saw the pictures that they went back to sanya...gosh...i really miss that place...the place i was for 5 months....the food and scenary...

work as usual...but tml is going to be busy cuz payroll...OMG...super stress this time is doing alone...no one to help me...=( but i believe i can handle...I really want to but clothes...saw alot of nice clothes online...lols...there are alot of wants now...i want to fulfil them...if i really start studying...i guess i will be too busy for my friends...so now must meet up more...hahaz...

yups...i am going to move along the path i map out for the next five years...and hopefully by then i am ready to start a family...cuz i want to have 4 kids..lols...ideally...but SG living expenses to high lols...and to have kids must see fate de...wahaha...thinking a bit too far...there is too many unpredictable that might happen along the way...

was talking to a friend just now...i say i am going to make it a rule that when they go NS we will meet up every month at least one of the week and it will be fixed...so the friendship still stay...i guess i really goin to miss them when they go army...just like how i miss my dear fren...he just called me and say he is alright in there and his bmt life...

that's all...off to bed...

对某某人：

很想说声谢谢你让我看得很清楚，让我学了很多而该如何保护自己。

那人因该不知道是他吧

2009-04-14T00:04:00.003+08:00

Back to post...

I am tired...Lols...could not sleep last night cuz i have been sleeping the whole day...=X after the midnight movie on sat...so today was late for work...haiz...=(

I am hook on facebook quiz...just for fun...is quite interesting to see how truthful u are in quizzes...=) cuz i really got nothing better to do...Lols...

Yups...felt quite accomplished today...trying to clear up my desk and do filing...and whoosh time flies...end work le...went to watch movie with a special friend...yups...nice movie...just suits me...cuz is romance...LOLs...is four different stories...but the stories are nice...the first story is touching and really romantic...the second one is just about fate...the third one is about reality and the last is funny...I like two quotes from the movie...but can't really form them out now...i always love watching romance...cuz it always make me feel that fairytale do exist...cuz i am practical...so i am not romantic although sometimes i wish i am...Lol...hahaz...like wat i told my friend just now...is really hard to be a "xiao nv ren" ...I am perceive by guys i am too independent for them lols...that's why guys stay away from me...lols...the movie got quote this...is it true that guys like girls to be on a weaker side so that they can show their protective side?? LOL...

After that had a nice dinner...thanks for everything today...the movie and dinner plus accompanying me to tamp mrt =)

I really think i am lucky to have a group of friends always there to be with me...no matter when i need them...they really make up a large part of my life and who i am now...

Just now a question struck me..."when it started when i stop believing in lovely fairytales that all girls dream of?" and "when i started to be so protective of myself? " i guess it was all those unhappy incidents that i chose to seal it off...=) I am so proud of myself to be able to face it and be strong...=)

that's all...my shoulder is giving me aches again...I shall go rest...=)

My dear fren is having his BMT...confined for two weeks...i know he can do it...and hope he achieve his IPPT gold...pray hard for him =)

2009-04-12T02:53:00.002+08:00

Back to post...

Just reach home...just finish watching movie....now still can't get to sleep cuz of the show..i guess is just me not use to watching violence and horror show ba...after all...the world i see is not that ugly till that extend...that show was nice...it really taught alot of things...worth to watch...

sometimes truth and lies are just a thin line...hmm...was talking to a fren of mine today...is r/s a necessity? or people are just seeking for companionship? Lol...is true that people always one someone to be by their side...cuz afraid of the lonely feeling...yups...perhaps just fear that kind of feeling...people needs to be care for...every decision make there is always opportunity and cost...so weigh it and decide...Just now there was a quote in the movie "Life is always full of mistakes" perhaps...as there is no right or wrong...once chose you have to go on and no turning back...

Yups...watch another show today too...is called the "handsome suit" super funny show...perhaps the romance in the show is just a fairytale...but it really teaches ppl how not to judge people by it's cover...and as usual lovers are always together...nice and sweet show...it just fills up what is lacking in the reality...and into dreamland...

I can't believe i have been walking the whole day and watching two movie...actually wanted watch another show de...luckily never watch if not today confirm movie marathon...hahaz...is the first i am so bored till i did that...haha...i think i shall find more things to fill up 7 days a week so i will not feel that boredom....hahaz...people must be think that i am crazy...but seriously...i think work really fills up ur life and makes u dun think a lot of unhappy things...and ask yourself why...

Is just complicated..

ok...shall sign off and go on facebook...=) take care

2009-04-10T16:14:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

Currently - super bored

I just had a long rest...

Yesterday, was fun...the response for the chalet was unexpected...a lot turn up in the end...close to 60 ppl...teachers came earlier part of the day...and i guess many have fun catching up with them...then followed by mahjong,poker,bbq-ing,catching up with one another's life and drinking...it was a success and i think is the first...played drinking game...almost died on the game...the game is like super crazy...no matter what people still have to drink and the probability is super high...=x and what makes it worse...is the vodka shots...absolute raspberry...after that i swear...i am not going to ever buy absolute vodka...it just tastes like medicine...=x next time when drink...i shall make sure i am not sick...=x

hmm...reach home in the morning to realise i forget my keys...wonderful right...den i press my doorbell...luckily my mum answer the door....if not i dunno where to head to...lols...=X I really had fun last night...hopefully able to have such gathering again...=)

that's all...i am going to find something to do~~~ maybe go boat quay?

2009-04-09T11:54:00.002+08:00

back to blog...

curently at home...work was alright..learnt alot of things...hopefully i can do my best in it...
yup....monday was a happy day cuz i got praise for my translation...lols...my manager was real funny...he was like..."stephanie, your chinese first class honours ah?" I was like "lols..No". If my chinese was first class honours, i would have gone to be a chinese teacher...haha...but that indeed light up my day...=)

tues...was feeling unwell...i think in offices..virus tend to spread faster...cuz my colleauge was sick...den i think my immune system is like low...so i got the virus...it was alright and i pray hard not to have fever...cuz the symptons were so like..i am going to have fever...=x

Weds...woke up feeling quite terrible..but still went to work and trying survive through the day...and i survived and thinking that it might get worse...so i went to the doc's...and i caught a flu and fever...with 38 degree...after that went to buy cake go to the chalet and celebrate Kev's birthday...for him...den i took my medicine and rest on the sofa...den i was not being a good patient...was playing MJ...and i went home...=X

Now i am stilll having a slight fever and my throat is uber-dry...my voice super nan ting...OMG...later how to survive...lols...people hear my voice sure go dotz...haha...looking forward to later...really hope nothing crop up cuz is the first chalet i organise with such great response...=X lols...but i really hope everyone will have fun...it have been so long since we see each other...some is like 4 years...after O's..it will be great to catch up with old friends at times..really miss those days in secondary school...=)

To my dear girl...

I know that you will be strong enough and pull thru all the odds..this time round what he did to you is really unforgivable...i hope you really wake up on this call and NEVER go back with him...i dun wish to see you ten years down the road you are suffering...you must find back the smile that you use to have in secondary...the one before he ruin your life..he is a real jerk...seriously..took away the happiness from you...and always bring you down...hate him...whatever it is...stay strong...you got your friends always there to support you..and friends are the one that will never leave you in the darkness...=) can always sms or call me...=) take good care...shall see you later..=)

that's all for now..got to get ready..i have to go down there soon and prepare the things le...i will blog more...pray that i will get better...

2009-04-05T03:50:00.002+08:00

My 200th post...yup i am back to blog...

Mahjong just now...won a bit...lols...lady luck was smiling today...yups...I really wonder how many more kind of big groups outing can we still have...as time flies...people move on...things changes...many ppl come in and out of your life...but i do treasure every single one...yup...i am not good at expressing sometimes in terms of concern and care...but i believe the people who i know as friends do understand...Sometimes i think people always cherish after they lose something important to them...

I am like a panda now...omg...i am trying to fix the problem...by slping...but i just can't seem to have a good rest..=(
And i am super unlucky these days with driving...haiz...guess i shall drive even lesser...anyway i prefer to be the passenger...=X still thinking should i drive to the chalet or ask people drive??

My gastric is giving me problem again...haiz...

Yesterday went to boat quay for a drink...quite nice place...the beer was smooth...=)

that's all i am going to try and slp...before the pain get worse...

take care ~~~

2009-04-02T23:23:00.003+08:00

Back to blog...

This week time like pass super duper fast...have no idea why...ya...have been working and learning...have to take over the job of one of my colleauge...work have been alright so far...just quite a number of things to remember...hopefully i can do well...yups and i am still trying to get use to 9-6pm job...cuz is like i am a night owl...=X I look like panda now...cuz i like always not enuff slp...=(

I am gonna to be busy for these months until i get confirmed...cuz i want to rest more...so apologies to people if i forget to reply your sms or call back...cuz i am trying to get more rest so i won't look like a panda...Looking forward to the chalet nxt week...but hopefully nothing cock up cuz i am not there to prepare...but i must trust them...i must give faith to them..=)

that's all...i am going to bed now...=)

2009-03-30T23:19:00.001+08:00

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

I think the quiz is rather true for some parts.

2009-03-28T01:06:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

Had been a real busy week for me...working and getting ready for prom...

Prom was a great night...It was filled with a lot of laughter and joy...Hmm...to think back...use to hate poly life...cuz of could not fit in...but after that the course really brought alot of opportunities to open up to alot of things that i never thought it will be that interesting...from the course i took away alot of experience and skills although my results not very good...but it is something that change a lot of my perception of things...can see the pictures for prom on facebook...i think i look super not my style...lols...=x anyway...the night marks the end of my poly life and a step nearer to adulthood...

I started my first perm job...I think my position is going to be a rather stressful job...but i guess i will be able to do it well right...haha...but whatever it is...I am going to put in my best and learn as much as i can...

Okay...i think that's all....

2009-03-23T23:32:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

I just got a job...starting this thursday...I am quite happy...is like the scope is what is liked and i get to learn new things...quite interesting...the colleague looks quite friendly and nice....

I was quite happy today...went to work but is like super no people...so ya...time pass real slow...
now i am back home...

To someone (u should know who) :

Maybe somethings are just like that...Different thinking and perception will lead to conflict...sometimes is just the way things it is....is no right or wrong...no apologises needed...there is nothing wrong of expecting something from a certain person...people do that...but not everyone is able to keep up and take care of everyone expectation in their lives...is actions do speak louder than words...but not everyone perceived a certain action as care or concern to them...it might be just a normal to some but to some it might be a caring act..i just think is just not enough understanding of each other well enough...but it really does not matter... like i say before...every decision made is what you think u make u happy den so be it...I won't try and change anyone's thinking or perception...that'swhy i will say those things earlier...it might be unitentionally...but countless of time saying that does reflect alot on the what expectation i did not acheive...sometimes think about it this way...if you get along with a person using the same way over a period of time and suddenly the person one day decided to change another way of concerning den won't u feel much weird...or maybe that is just my thinking...I dunno...but really whatever...i appreciate everything that has been done for me...every single concern about me...sorry if i not able to meet that expectation...making u lose more of ur trust in human...alot of things does not just change overnight...

I haven received my shawl yet and haven got my heels....OMG...how...and two day left...

I shall stop here...take care

2009-03-21T14:07:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

Have been slacking for the first three days of the week...practically just sleep, eat and use com...super no life le...=( but on monday night went to marina barrage with some of the group people for a spin...a nice place...can see stars le...at night the wind also quite nice...a good place for couples and also for chilling...but if go at night....must drive lo...if not it will not be accessible...

I bought the dress and the shawl for the grad night...left with gloves and heels...i can acheive my target by spending less than 150 ba...

dress:$24.90
Shawl:$26.40
Total:$$51.30

Yesterday went to job fair and food fair...there is quite a lot of nice food there....OMG...Hmm...still considering which private uni to go to...we chatted super long...we talked about anything under the sky...is like from work to study to r/s to secondary and primary school life and family...I guess knowing her was one of the best part of my poly life..=) She is a friend u can count on...=) Love her...congrats to her for finding a perm job le...=)

I hoping hard that i will get a perm job soon...i need something to learn...=)
Okay that's all....I going to bathe and off to work...

2009-03-16T02:27:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

Slept like more than ten hours today...cuz i slept at 5.30am in the morning...
Still Jobless...Sad...but working part-time...is boring...cuz nothing new to learn...
Life now quite routine...is like no work also watch drama...since got quite a few drama nice to watch....and sleep...=)

Have been talking to my dear fren on phone...actually i was quite surprised that he actually call me...but it really shows how much you mean to the person...anyway....he talk about the life in there...but i believe he is able to pull through and become stronger...is very different from outside...but i know he can get use to it...=)

I hoping that the response for the chalet will be good...if not is like quite wasted...alot of people have changed after secondary...but that was the best period of time...I guess my secondary school life with filled with a lot of tears and unknown "surprises" that i have learnt and grow with the experiences...

Hmm...have been really thinking a lot of things...really a lot...=)

That's all for today...really have no idea what to type...

2009-03-14T21:55:00.001+08:00

Marriage Test (took it for fun - got from my girl's blog)

How will you choose your Mr Right?

You will make the most of being able to shop around for Mr Right. You love your freedom and will have a lot of fun learning about what sort of man you like. When you do find the guy for you, nobody will be able to keep you away from the church.

Who will be your future Mr Right?

Your real-life hero will be manly. He'll be dependable, even financially. He will protect you and always respect your feelings. He'll probably be quite a bit older than you.

When will you get married?

You will be very determined and thorough in choosing a spouse. You'll study every detail about your man before saying yes to a life of love. You will eventually make a good choice, but you'd better be sure that he's willing to wait that long.
What sort of wife will you be?

If your hubby is crazy enough to ask you to do silly things, you may as well have fun with him. You'll make a fun-loving wife.

Will you and your husband have a good time together?

You and your hubby will enjoy each other's company playing games until you're old. Whether you play tennis, golf, swim or even just go driving out of town, you'll both stay healthy and happy.

What will your children be like?
Your kids will be quiet and won't give you a hard time - they'll be a joy to have around. However, you should teach them to be stronger and more confident in themselves. Otherwise they might grow up to be losers.

How loyal are you?

You get along very well with most guys. Sometimes your friendliness misleads others to think that you're a bit of a flirt, but actually you've got a loyal heart. You'll never have eyes for anyone except your beloved husband.

I guess most of it is rather true...=) Just did it for fun...=)

2009-03-12T01:37:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

I have been super lazy n no mood to blog...

Okay...I have been working and finding jobs at the same time...hopefully can find soon....I dun want work in F&B anymore...Okay...results out today...it is not that fantastic..but at least i passed...Graduate le...haiz...but economy so bad....=(

Thinking what to wear for Prom....just now was online shopping and saw a few nice dressess...=) I got rough idea what to wear le...Just hope to spend below $150....I just need get a pair of heels and a coat...can't wait for the grad night...

Have just planned a chalet upcoming Apr for BDS gathering...hopefully got good response...=)
Have been really thinking alot...hmm....dunno why this days can't get to slp although very tired..only like fall asleep at 4am...sad right...haha...I also dunno why...

Just finish watching a taiwan drama...Love or Bread....a nice show...but reflects the dilema that we faced in the society...but the ending she choses love...Hmm...ultimately is up to one choice...

My dear fren going to report in a few hours time and i won't get to see him for like two weeks...hope he take good care of himself in camp...I will miss you...Hopefully u can acheive what u set to acheive...When u book out...give me a call....=)

I also watch "Marley and me" the other day...a nice show...heartwarming...seeing how a people's perspective can change along the way...what you think might suits u...in the end may not...and how many people actually makes you feel special...=)

I think i shall stop here....take care people...=)

2009-03-03T14:53:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

Finally Exams over...Time to meet up with my friends that i haven been contacting for the past few weeks...

1) My girls
2) Xin Yan
3) Bee Ean
4) Hanifah
5)Group outing with the group
6) My dear fren
and the list goes on and on...

Hmm...time flies...my dear fren going for enlistment...Hopefully he will acheive what he plans to acheive in his career path...and we will go for a drink before you go in...just like last time...must train back the standard of drinking....cannot lose to me...=X Hmm...I dunno what have happened...but i know you can be strong and walk out of it just like what you have done before...put everything aside and enjoy the last nine days of freedom to the fullest....Just know that there are friends who will be there for you when u need them...

Okay...I am feeling bored by not finding a job soon..I just can't rot and stay at home for one full day...Hmm...Sad right...but also dun want keep going out and play....like that like also no meaning...have to get a job soon..=)

Shall stop here....got to go and meet ms bee ean after so long...=X Take Care...

2009-02-25T02:26:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

Okay...it is rather early in the morning...I just came back home not long ago from studying and currently i am still studying...Lols..

I jut finished one paper and 4 more to go...but the paper i took..i pray for the best...

Hopefully the paper in a few hours time will be rather manageable for me...tml after that have to chiong study finish two subjects...I think tml can be prepared to fill my stomach with more than two cups of caffeine..I just drank like two cups of coffee within two hours span...=X

Just now went for a short spin to changi village n saw the trans...very scary le...=( next time must go with guys...if not i think i will freak out again...is just so eerie feeling...

Hmm...i shall get back to my studies and go to bed soon...but i am mentally awake due to the two coffee i just drink but pysically tired....Take Care...

2009-02-19T13:52:00.002+08:00

Back to Post....

Okay...Yesterday I officially say good bye to my "teen" and hi to my "ty"...One year older...this year celebration was not as big-scale as the previous...but i did enjoy myself...Thanks to my girls for organising it for me...Thanks to everyone who wishes me...=) Really appreciate the thanks...

My birthday present for this year:

1) Pooh Jigsaw Puzzle
2) Citigem Necklace
3) Wallet
4) I touch

Okay...but is really the thought that counts...I really appreciate everyone who put in effort to make this year memorable...=) As usual, made three birthday wishes this year...I hope i am able to realise it...=) I love all my friends...=)

This year...there is a lot of things in my heart that have been settled and i am able to face up to most of the things...luckily for me...I am still rather positive in forgetting unhappy things....

Better study hard le....Tml got exams...First Paper....have to work hard...=) Shall stop here...Blog soon...

2009-02-10T15:55:00.002+08:00

Back to Post...

I have been feeling really very slack for the past two weeks...

Last week, I literally go school only on fri and initially i wanted to clear leave for club...but didn't...=( and this week...I haven been attending school...and next week will be study week...Realise time pass so fast....

I enjoyed my weekends...I met up with the group on sat night at bedok mac and we chat till 3 plus...there are nosensical crap as usual but also certain seriousness...I think i have known them for close to three years? some of them longer cuz we used to be same classmates...Glad i know them...at least they bright up the gloomy days...

Being simple is a great thing to learn...Life is short...times really flies...hmm...another 8 days to the age start with 2...Twenty years have just past lidat...Hmm....a lot of things I have been through this years...Unhappy things i have forgotten and learnt to move on with it...happy things will always remain in my memories...have to thank all my friends and family for creating all this wonderful moments....

Shall stop here....=)

2009-02-03T18:17:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

Haven been blogging for a month...Cuz I have been staying at my grandma house...My house although it is ready but there are still problems...thus need to rectify...

Hmm...The past one month, which is JAN...is a very hectic month whereby i was rushing my projects like siao...and finally all finished and done...was happy that some of the projects got really good comments...it seems like the effort that my group and i have put in have not gone to waste...The final semester already...have to do the best...

After this feb...considered as graduate le...Hmm...Still thinking of my future...but more or less...I have settled on what to study and the direction to head to...but still some consideration need to be made...

I was reflecting that day and thinking back the good old days...I have definately change and grow up to handle different situations and learn to accept certain things... I guess everyone will reach a point whereby they realise they have change...time can't turn back but every step that we took will make a difference somehow or another in your own life...

Hmm...that day went to watch a play "Design for living" with my dear friend...it was really a good and nice play...talking about the cruel side of reality and various different type of personality that you will find in the office...and really makes u wonder alot after the play...and the actors and actresses are really good...the cherography of the play was fantastic...=)

Anyway...that's all i have to say...exams in another 2-3 weeks time...wish me best of luck...Take care my friends...i miss u all...will find time to meet up...=)

2008-12-31T00:12:00.003+08:00

Back to blog...

Current Status: Stress up

This few weeks have been busy with projects....Going be down with flu soon...Next week project deadlines all lined up...have to finished by this week...=)

Time flies...Is the last day of 2008 le...must enjoy...=)

Recap -

The happy moments of this year..

1) OSIP in Sanya (made alot of new friends)
2) I get my driving license
3)The recent christmas celebration

This year has been quite a great year so far...I learnt a lot and grow and made new friends....I have set the goals i want to acheive after graduation...I will work hard towards them...

2009 a year to look forward...time to either get into society or study...and more opportunities to learn...and I am moving to a new place...=)

Hope everyone enjoy their new year countdown and your resolution to come true...=)

2008-12-21T23:24:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

Currently, I am becoming a panda...Thanks to the late nights recently...

Have been busy with projects meeting for the whole week...

17th Dec...Went out with my girls for dinner...We had dinner at Ichiban Sushi...Nice and filling dinner...got some updates from each other...I know my girl is strong and she will be fine...Girl, just to let u know..although you chose not to face up to reality...and chose love over bread...but just hope that you can be happy...you are still young and please do take good care of yourself...

19th Dec...went for the movie with uncle chan, nick&norah's infinite playlist...it was a sweet show...typical romance with a little element of comedy...and went for dinner after that...The show is not bad lo...but guess the person who watched with me do not know how to appreciate...No choice....=X

I am really tired mentally and physically...all the deadlines hurry up due then i can relax more...
Anyway, I am moving house soon...homeless....=( My current house have been sold so next week i am moving out...My new house is not ready....when it is i will inform u all for housewarming...

Somehow I am not looking forward to this year christmas...Just feel that this year is not as fun as previous year...I haven get presents...OMG...four more days....maybe tml or tues i will go buy....as usual last min shopping...=X

I guess people do change...society do not allow us to think simple at times..reality force people to grow...is just part and parcel of life...I just think...things do not always go the way you want...somehow some ending is not what we wanted to see...

“因为恋爱在一起，也因了解而分开”

Shall stop here...

2008-12-15T22:29:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

This week suppose to be holiday week...but i am not feeling any holiday mood...Going back school for a straight of four days...At least Spa project is on track now...Just some finalising to be done on wed...And Spa is finally done..

Current Status: I am a panda (due to lack of sleep this few days)

Today was talking to my groupmates about date rape...just feel that sometimes girls really need to learn how to protect themselves...Whatever it is, have to be vigilant...After that went for facial and jsut came back...Took almost 4 hours today...

I miss those days chilling with my friends and spending time together...now can only meet once in a while on occassion..i guess is just part and parcel of growing up...Sometimes learning to sit back and relax at times is something good...=)

I have been figuring out some stuff lately...Sometimes i wonder why people can still put on the lie when it is so obvious...Just to get what they want?? or just to have fun? I guess i can never believe anymore...

I shall stop here...my mood is being random once more..blog when i am more normal again...

2008-12-11T23:45:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

I am super tired...This few days have been watching drama, working & studying...need a break soon..If not i think i will break...

I am here to complain...tml's paper is a killer...The notes suck...plus the stuff is like engineering...OMG...I plan to fail that paper....I hate that subject...I guess everyone else in the course too...Haiz..I am trying to find the mood to study for his paper....

I wanna watch movie...so many nice movie on screen and upcoming...I am trying to find time...maybe next week...cuz i think i will slow down my working pace...as there are projects to rush...

1)Bolt

2) Nick & Norah's infinite playlist

3) Twilight

Time flies...two more months to leave school...I still haven decide what i want....Can someone save me from the dilema...I am really stress out this sem....=(

I want to go out to have fun...I want go on Singapore Flyer...Is like everytime see it but never had the chance to go on it...any kind soul want bring me there? haha....That day a tourist ask me In SG, what is interesting? Seriously, I was stunned and ended up giving some attractions...lols...I think for them perhaps heartland area will be interesting...=X but i didn't say that. And, he ask me about trishaw ride. And, i say i never sit before.. he was like rather surprised and say that means it is nothing special...LOLs...Funny...

Club re-test is alright...not that bad....at least i know how to do....=) I want to enjoy next week...and Christmas....=)

Shall stop here...Guess i have to go read my notes again...=( take care!

2008-12-06T01:55:00.003+08:00

Back here to blog...

I just came back home...Had the random feeling to blog...

This week...was a stressful week with all the project meeting...This holiday really have to put 101% into project...Can't sleep well due to stress this week...I am trying not to think too much before I sleep...=X

Christmas is coming...but i dun have the festive mood to shop or plan a gathering....but i know is the only time where i can meet all my friends after so long...Hmm...Maybe a BBQ....I hope got pits available still....At first wanted to have a gathering at my house...but is like my parents will be in...and my house by then will be full of boxes ready to move...Hmmm...I am thinking hard....

This year my X'mas wish list:

1) A Wallet (Guy Lorache, but is like quite ex =( )
2) Lying baby pooh family series (but is like i can't have anymore soft toy =( )
3) A bag (from the box, but ppl say is not worth the price)
4) A fun gathering, like last year ( If i can plan one???)
5) Necklace with a nice pendant (I saw it today, from SK, but is also quite ex)
6) More time for my loved ones (I really miss all of them)

And I can't think for now...there are too many wants...be it physical or not...=X

Today went early dinner with Chan...as usual...topics always revolved around topics that has a lot of grey areas and will end up with no conclusion....LOLs...Is just different mindset, attitude and perception....After that came home and continue my comic online....Den pool session with Nixon...

Side-tracked

Yesterday, read the newspaper on Ms Lo Hwei Yan love story and her few last hours before she was killed by the terrorist...I was touched... (should read is a really good article)
Felt sad...It is really difficult to find someone that you love so much that you want to spend the rest of your life with him/her...is really difficult...Her bravery and calmness was admirable...I hope she will rest in peace in heaven...

Life is really unpredictable...Learn to cherish the ppl you hold dearly...
Two more months to decide on my future...should i or not???

Shall stop here...Take Care...=)

2008-12-03T00:25:00.002+08:00

Back to blog,

Haven been not been blogging due to laziness and no mood....

Currently: I am down with flu and some rashes.

Last week, I fell down at IKEA...Dun ask me why...Haiz...den injure my left knee...=(

And, I had a busy week. I had to rush two individual report and study for test.

Oh ya...went to have a cruise site visit on Friday with Moses Lim. Was an interesting tour cuz is like i never been on Star Virgo...my only cruise experience is when i am 6 years old....super interesting...

After that went to have carnivore...is quite nice although i didn't eat much and didn;'t make the money worth...but I feel that is quite a nice place to dine if you have huge appetite...=) Try if got chance...

End up, Monday never go test cuz was not really not feeling well. =( And, I eat medicine and slept the whole day. Feel so weak.

Today, got gaming class test. I am so going to fail...cuz i can't remember anything. Be it due to the medicine effect or I am not hardworking enough...Whatever it is...Anyway...went to tour TMCC...didn't get to see the outdoors area...=(

After that went to eat sketches...it wasn't as good as expected...Plus the service really not good...haiz...Nowadays, is like so hard to find a place with nice food and good service...but if the food is good but the service is bad...the total experience is still affected...Whatever....

Shall stop here....

Take Care....

2008-11-24T01:12:00.002+08:00

Back to post...

Have been real busy this week...

Feeling the project stress...=( so i have to start le...Not much time left...Whatever it is just stay happy right?? I hope I can...

Unpleasant did happen....

Like the facilities case study...That Lecturer is too slack on his job...Instruction pass down was not clear...And although i knew the night before...I just didn't want to change...Cuz is like he never give that instructions to my class...although some of mine classmates knew but chose to keep quiet...Whatever...Just 5% must it be like that...Maybe that is just part of school life backstabbing over results...That subject just makes my blood boil...

Sometimes just thought that why things have become this way? I guess no one can answer...Interesting right...why must there be words that are just say for fun?? And, there must be people who out there to hurt others in one way or another...When u hurt someone be it in any situations, won't there any sense of remorse or guilt? I really wonder...be it intentionally or unintentionally...but at least realise it....Just a random thought after hearing what my friend say...

There are so many choices now to where i should head to....What i really want??? It may be a far away goal that i am trying to reach...but i just want myself to be happy...=)

Stop here...Take Care

2008-11-19T03:26:00.003+08:00

Back to post..
Is 3.30am in the morning...I just reach home not long ago...Had a chat with a friend...and share a lot of things...Yups...so suddenly have the mood to blog...I am not being emo or unhappy...is just the feeling to blog just came...

The topic we talked was mostly about work...but nevertheless there were other personal involvement in it...Being taken for granted is something that will happen to anyone of us...but does not mean that everytime the same old thing can be done to the same person...cuz one day the person will realise and feel hurt or even numb that leads to distrust...I learnt this from many experiences i had and finally realised...sometimes people just needs appreciation to know that their effort is being paid off...just a simple thank you or just a smile...it really means a lot...but sadly....not many people recognise that...

Realise that i am slowly changing...learning to be stronger and deal with obstacles that i would shun from...I used to be really naive and believe words that people say to me and never doubt...but now...i really begin to doubt certain words from certain people...why? cause is just like the story the shepard and the wolf story...I learnt it in a real hard way to realise that i was dumb in the past...

Anyway...I finish another Gidden's book...a touching story indeed...

Quotes from the book that i find it meaningful to share:

“每个人在他最爱的人的心中，都有专属于自己的位置。
有的人被爱, 有的人不被爱。
有的人被喜欢，有的人被讨厌。
有的人适合做朋友，有的人适合单恋。”

“你身边的那个人，也许不是你的真命天子。
但他或许是你的专属超人。
你对他轻轻一笑，就会有一万个天使在他的笑容上飞舞着”

His story is always able to let me think alot and have emotions stringed in to the different characters of the story. And, it is not happy ending. The ending is usually unexpected or a lose-win ending.

I shall go to bed now. Tml got to wake up early for Spa. Excited. =)
Take Care.

2008-11-17T01:21:00.002+08:00

back to post...

Haven been bloggging since a long time...actually i wonder who actually reads and bother...

I am swarmed by school & Projects...Deadlines coming and the worst thing ever is i dun have motivation to start on any of the reports and it is individual...Someone pls enlighten me...I badly need some sort of motivation...=X

I have been a good girl going home after school most of the time on weekdays which i usually don't....Ya but i do feel lost...not used to not going to work...but i am really sick and tired of working...but yet when i stop is like the feeling is so empty...is like an important part of u lost...Haiz...Contradiction again....

Projects haven been going on well smoothly either...perhaps is too big group...or is jsut hard to focus with so many on going projects and is not like the previous sem not so much on feasibilty...now is projects that can really come alive...so much more effort needed...Haiz.=(

Anyway...that day went to Lim Chu Kang...it is such a different place from the urban Singapore...it is like going to some parts in Malaysia...Is a nice place with lots of greenery and it has a nice resevoir there...the sun set view is also quite nice there...reminds me of Sanya...The air there is also much more better...After that went for dinner at 'dian xiao er' they serve really nice duck...and coffee at Gloria Jeans...Their coffee is good...and only $2 for regular latte...at least it tastes like three shots of eppresso...=) Had a nice chat with my friends...and home sweet home...

I am so going to cut down on my calories...=(
Must learn to be healthy...=X

Take Care...Off to bed

2008-11-03T01:08:00.003+08:00

Back to post...

Just have the feeling to post...

These few days busy with my own stuffs and work...

Friday celebrate Alvin's birthday and guess what...We bought him an Elmo...Super cute....I glad he did enjoy his birthday...Seeing my friends happy I am happy too...That day was also physically drained...I had a long day...

Thoughts...

I believe in environment changes people...No one is born to be evil or rebellious by nature...But does not mean that all have to put the blame to environment...there are other sub factors...Maybe she is still young to understand that...thinking that her life is not smooth due to her relationship with an unknown result...and feel that the whole family no one understands her or know what she is doing...But underlying reason for why all the scolding is just because of concern and care...but with anger and disappointment all turns into hurtful actions and words...Is not that always telling someone to grow up...it will change overnight...I just dun wish to see her future without any sign of light...I dun want her to face the same fate as one of my friend in r/s...I just hope one day she would realise...

I shall not say any things further...Is really personal issue...Take care

2008-10-30T23:37:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

I just came back from parkway...went play pool with my friend...
Sianz...I am finding fixed khaki to play pool...Seldom ppl play with me nowadays...Sads

Okay...this week there is great improvement on the Spa Project...at least something is finalised...But not for facilities...Is too vague...but at least project meetings are fun not boring..I am not like the past working once i have time...I now slow down a lot le...only work on weekends...thinking should i totally stop..but i know allowance is definately not enough for me...
Hmm...tough decision....=X

I know all my friends is like telling me...hey girl...stop working...lols...

Anyway...that day went to marina sq...eat the dian xiao er...is like super nice...worth the price...especially the duck...next time got chance sure bring my close friends there to eat...=)
Today was also dicussing food and restaurants with Qinghui...lols...I am a food lover...what to do? so i put on weight....Ahhh...=(

Should i cut my hair??? but is likt the length finally so long le...bu she de...=(

A thought...

To my girl:

I dunno if u still read my blog...but i always have been updating myself about u through ur blog...
These days like almost on the brink of breaking down...can't help but to worry...we haven seen each other for a long time...I guess we started to drift when u once again got back with him...Maybe is just biasness towards him...but what i see each time...it confirms what i felt about him..Being strong is not easy...but hope u can tide through this....No point hating urself cuz time can never turn back....the only thing u can do is to make use of the time ahead of u...maybe we are getting older...but in learning u are never too late...that day when i msg u...u told me u plan to tell us after everything is over...i know why..but can't help there is a sense of disappointment...there are many things i wish to tell u but i am not the kind of expressive person when i face to face with u...So i rather write it down..hopefully u will read...Just to let u know...i still care and love u...Take Care..

I shall stop here...really tired...looking forward to tml's lecture cuz really can learn interesting things...but not tutorial..=)

2008-10-27T00:39:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

Haven been blogging...

Reasons:

1) My internet connection was down for like a week
2) I am like super tired everyday

Okay...What have i been up to???

School started....Lectures are all fun except for Destination Planning...cuz the lecturer is really super "cold" when all the students are like not laughing at her jokes...Whatever...Hopefully it just get better...This sem is going to be a tough sem....with so many heavy subjects...each subject got at least 20% of the course work is individual based...field trip reports, interviews and case studies...I hope i survive through...SO i had a sudden thought of stop working...But i really dunno...Still thinking...cuz now working at the outlet i dun really like....So I grumble to XY whenever i work...Luckily she is patient...that day sat at mac talk for like an hour plus just about work...plus i "stole" one of her soft toy...Wahaha....=X This is the last sem...I must survive through all the projects...and exams...so I can continue my further studies hope...and to travel...=)

When school starts also means lesser time for friends...although i will always make time but i think it is gonna be hard this time round...but there are still friends who will also be able to meet no matter what...Like my dear fren...just a call...and he will always be there if possible...=) Just an example...Cuz as we grow older....sometimes some friendship just suddenly stray away for no reasons...Just because lack of communication and gestures to keep in touch...But all in all... I really love all my friends no matter what...

Am i hard to understand?? I guess so..one of my friends say that i am like tornado...HArd to predict...haha...I think so too...at times...is just that some emotions is use to cover up my real thinking...so ppl cannot predict u always...if not will get hurt easily....=)

Shall stop here...Getting tired...HAha....BLog soon....=)

2008-10-18T03:40:00.003+08:00

Back to post after so long...

Want to post for the last few days but was busy watching show...

Oh well...today last day of work for admin..manage to clear what am i suppose to do...and had dinner with my colleague at a seafood restaurant in Geylang and after that went to pool spot...
Stayed there till a friend came and accompany me...and is the first time in my life that i took a ride on a bike in SG...haha...it was rather scary but my fren knew so he drive rather carefully and slowly...=)

Mood haven been good these days...

I was looking forward for school to start but now no longer...why?? Time-table and classmates...Is the first ever time that i felt my course ppl are so scary....too scary...Kim was right to say that "Youa re not only low profile le...you also don't know anything" cuz i dun bother...can anyone believe it...Just when time table come out for less than half a day people form their proj groups...It was my first time realising that happening around me...Is not say unhappy or what...but is like WTH feeling...Never in the past two years i did that...so end up in random groups but also survive through although not with A's...Everyone has their own reasons Jas told me that...I understand...but is just too overwhelming...I never thought that could happen...Some are just purely selfish just to protect their grades...but whatever they didn't have any wrong..after all world is unfair...thus i decide to leave it to fate...whichever group i have just do what i am suppose to do...and finish the stupid last sem and get out of the course...Stupid bloody politics...Sorry to use all thiese words...but is really dumb...

Maybe from young my groups of friends were never like that...We share what we know and learn from one another and help out each other...Thus...facing the situation above was a little too much for me to take it...just can't understand these ppl? results is what they want...but the process??? I guess is just different perception...I may just start my disappearing act in class...Whatever...It just sucks to be in a course filled with competitions....before school starts...a bad omen...

Put unhappy things aside...

I met kathy and went for dinner and shopping...and i bought myself a top and a skirt...heartache...but i just feel like buying something for myself once in a while...=) Just love her...haha...She is the only one can take my complains ba and certain thinking quite similar...maybe is our horoscope...=X

I went swim on tues...meet my girl and had dinner at 168...Chat with her about my planned out path for the next three years...hopefully can fufill...Might go further study earlier...But is just a planned route...there are many unpredictable things in future....=)

Update soon...need some rest..haven had enough these days and it is now 4am in the morning...=) Take Care

2008-10-11T15:45:00.003+08:00

Back to post...Seems like a long time never blog le...Lazy plus tired plus really no random thoughts...

the past one week plus...have been meeting up with people..and filled with work and more work...My body dunno still can take it a not...one more week to go...and school start...although i will still be working but not so many hours i hope so...but hard to say..must depends on my timetable...Sometimes when i am super super tired...sels-psychoing works...and i will be with energy again...but my brain will function much slower...or rather dun feel like talking to anyone...cuz my mood is not stable when i am tired...

Last week was mr.brandon birthday...went to Sushi Tei again for lunch and after that slack at NYDC...I had a sinful mud pie...But is super nice...=X Desserts are my weakness...but must be nice-looking desserts...And we were talking about many topics...once again future...lols..but he funny lo...I never thought people like him would think about that or rather want to settle down...but I am so wrong when i heard him say...but first of all...hope he find his dream girl...=)
And, i love the feeling of sitting down at a cafe with a few friends and just sharing stuffs which has a wide range....It's just relaxing...but time past fast as i have to go to work...=(

Last week...I was almost drunk when i reach home after going to a chalet...is the second time...I was clear headed but when i see my bed...I straight away sleep...Next day woke up with a headache...but is okay...I guess had too much mixture of different alcohol and can never mix alcohol u get drunk faster...=X

That day went shopping with my mum and i saw two intersting phrases on a greeting card...
'
"Alcohol is the answer, but i can't remember what was the question"
"Tradegy is marrying a man for love and relising he has no money"

on a greeting card...seems weird right?? Haha

Wed...just met my dear fren to celebrate his birthday at Brewerkz...and we went to eski...miss those days chilling there...=) and we had a drink and went off...as usual we chat a lot...is always nice to have a dinner with a fren and talking about anything under the sun...and it was also knowing him for one year cuz i know him last year through his birthday chalet...and i cherish this friendship...=)

Sometimes i think i am lucky to have friends that will stay by me no matter what or help me when i need...cuz i dun think i am likeable...=X Lols...but really thanks to those friends...cuz the have enable to learn a lot from them an grow with them...

To Grandpa:
Dun always put ur thinking on me..That i will not care about you...Is just that the way we handle and see things is very different..and u should know that...And stop thinking that i bully u can?? very sad de le..only got i say ppl big bully lo...no one say me except u...and i know u will read my blog...=X

Ok...just an update...Take Care people...

2008-10-01T01:57:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

Today work was boring...but manage to survive through till 6pm...after that wanted to go out...but didn't know who to call...cuz today everyone got their own things to do...so decided to go walk walk alone...Wanted to watch movie alone de...but then i think what if later the person sit beside me is a couple den i sure sian half den start emoing...lols...so drop the idea...Work tml...Yea...at least i got something to do...cuz no one will ask me out unless there is special issues or events...if not usually i am the one initating...Everytime the same old questions being ask by people "why i always work?" my answer is always standard...if i dun work...do i have better things to do? the answer is "no" unless beforehand there is a date...den different story....work is just for the income...but i can sacrifice that for people who i think they care or I care for...

Recalling some things that happen and being said to me...I realise sometimes there is no need of giving people who do not deserve it benefit of doubt...because end up I feel that I am dumb...Lols...Or sometimes i hope i dun expect too much..cuz the higher my hopes are...when it falls...the more disappointment i faced...I dun really like negative feelings in me...cuz i will think a lot and a lot...although they will also go away very fast....=( Just my weakness to trust...Haiz...
Dumb me...=(

So long...never walk in the rain le...I miss walking in the rain...or people-watching along busy streets...Oh ya...I just finish watching a drama...nice ending....but there is a lot points to agree on...I think ep 5 the starting statement...was very true...and it really suits what i am thinking...=)
That day i was just telling a friend of mine...sometimes the image that u portray to others it is rooted...but why people always for the trivial little things that is needed?

简单来说：在坚强的人，也需要依靠，关心和爱护 at times...these little little feelings really matter a lot...to make a difference in decisions...

People are so funny lo...When they have certain things...they will not cherish it...until when they going to lose it...then they realise the importance...or some is the have certain things but over protect it...which results in negative effects...

Feel like cutting my hair...should i???

Shall stop here...

I made up my mind...I will do what i set out to do this time...

2008-09-29T23:56:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

Current Status: Out-of-tune voice, cough and flu...but i am recovering =)

Spent my whole day yesterday lazing at home...and watching shows on com....i had panadol and went to bed...

Went to work..half-sian and manged to survive through the boring routine...two more weeks to go..and Bye Bye to admin...not my cup of tea...After work went to hand in timesheet at raffles place and afterwhich went to simpang meet the group after two weeks...just a few of them bt we had fun...eating and slacking...talking about a lot of things...which includes future...a topic which i thought never will be talk among them....haha....but everyone have in their mind what they want but will they pursue is another thing...=) But all the best to them...As for me...Further my studies and broaden my horizons...I hope i can go overseas to study...i have a school in mind and just now was sharing with kathy...if possible there are other choices i might consider..if not Adelaide...A goal for now...

My dear friend is trapped in taiwan yesterday...due to typhon...but he is returning tonight only reach SG at 4am...Luckily he is safe...really glad to hear from him...=)

I am thinking a lot....Stop here

2008-09-28T13:15:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

Current Staus: Sick...Down with fever,flu and cough...

All the sickness originate from throat infection...Confined at home yesterday...suppose to go work...but woke up with fever..My mum ask me go see doc...and polyclinic...No choice so went there...Btw..the doc like noob...ask me what's wrong..I named all the illness...and ask if i needed MC and that's it...finish consultation with prescription...I think it took less that 5 mins...after that waited for more than an hour just to make payment and collect medicine...That's why i hate polyclinic...I rather go to private clinic...Whatever...I am not going polyclinic next time...imagine u have fever and have to wait..it is torturing...

The medicine will cause drowsiness...so i slept and slept...but wake up...also does not feel better...Woke up with a headache today...Later got to eat the medicine again...Then will go back to sleep again...I hate to be confine at home...so i hope after this dose of medicine...I will feel better...so i can resume my normal lifestyle...

That day was on msn with kim..and we were talking about work...she ask me how many hours i work a week....I was like...this question never cross my mind...for now...due to office job...so i work at least 50-60 hours a week...den she was like "crazy" the max she work is 45 hours a week...but if school starts...I think the working hours will reduce at least half....=) Hopefully...hahas....lols...

That day i was rather surprised...that my dear friend called me from Taiwan...I didn't expect that but the thought u are being thought of makes my day...=) Thanks..i think the call will be expensive...lols...Hope u did enjoy your hols!!! And, today he will be coming back....=)

Coming end of the year..many activities on the way...birthdays, christmas and countdown...=)
Busy...

I shall stop here....=)

2008-09-22T23:09:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

Current Mood: Stoning plus Moody

Have been in a mood of dark clouds with rain these days...have been a long time since i have been like that...Sometimes things just changes....I begin to falter...when everything takes a sudden 360 degree change...I need to find the way to make things right...or just let it be?? I never thought it can be so bad..but i was wrong...I just want to find the way out of this gloom and have the sun back in my life...

Yesterday...finished another book..I love the book...is so touching...only those who loves novels will like his books...fantastic stories...I just love to indulge in novels...although it may not be real but at least it keeps my mind away from things that i dun want to think....

I am lost for words...Tml my dear friend going taiwan for hols...so good...my dream destination...=) take care

2008-09-21T00:15:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

Current Mood: Tired

I have been busy with work, meeting friends, playing and driving...

Work have been boring..I know i have been saying the same thing...but really it is...haiz...tired never mind...but my gastric recently keep giving me problems...Hmm...I called back to my friends in China...Really miss them..hear them talk about their life there really makes me miss the place even more...I know i will save up enough to go back and visit them and traced all the favs hangouts we used to spend our time...tiandu shao kao, chao bin, bu xing jie, yalong beach, yang sheng zhou and many many places...Many of us still misses there, it was one important chapter of our lives...we learned a lot from there and experienced a lot...=) Some memories are there for us to reminisce the good old days...

There is still a list of places i haven been to since i come back:

1) Clarke Quay (the dessert place)
2) Boat Quay (eski bar)
3) Sentosa
4) Esplanade
5)AMK Hub
6) Singapore Flyer ( I really want to go =( although it a lot ppl say not worth it)
7) ECP to chill
And i can't think le...

Lols..I will find time to go..

Just now i read a short story by my fav author Giddens...Like his style of writting...

The story is about a break-up..is quite nice...

thought that these lines were quite true:
[花在一件事情的时间，代表你对它的重视] quoted from: Book (Little prince)

[男人的通病。觉得分手会让女人快乐，其实只想让自己轻松]

[没有不需努力，就可以满足的女人。]

[不需跟分了手的女人说抱歉，那只会让女人觉得自己很可怜。]

[女人不需同情，需要爱]

Interesting...I shall stop here...time to go to bed le...=)

2008-09-17T00:30:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

Current Status: Stoning

Just came back not long ago...Went out and chat about the old days..it may seems meaningless to some people but yet is the most vivid and cherished memories to many of us...all the past laughter and innocence have gone...Many of us have crossed path and till date we are still friends...and we try to hold on this friendship...Future is always an unknown...cuz we never know what will happen the next moment...so every moment do not regret what u do...

Many things have changed not only that....I see the changes in me...a big change...is it for the better is for others to judge not for me? As people have different perception and mindset...and there will always be differences...is just whether u can accept it or not? or rather stand at the person point of view a not...but it can be contradicting...

Have been talking to Sherine about future for the past few weeks...but that is a path we have mapped out that we want to take...will we succeed a not is another unknown to be solve years later....but is still a goal to work for...at least for now...

Mis-interpretation leads to bad consequences...i realise that all along..but yet this point have always been there for many people...people always assume the emotion that they feel at that time on the thing they see..without thinking is it the original intention of the sender....is just purely assumption plus guessing without concrete evidence...but that leads to another point...trust...if the sender explain but yet the receiver do not trust or rather ignore the original intention sticking by what he think it is...that's it...the consequences both the sender and receiver have to bear...is just a lose-lose situation...that is why i rather talk face to face...at least emotions can be seen...

Sad to say...there are only a few who understand me well enough not to step on the nerve that will trigger unhappinesss...but maybe the few people i thought that understand me...no longer understand me...cuz i have changed somehow...why? cuz there are more experiences, falls and observations...I chose to withdraw...think whatever u think i am or to those who think they understand me...ask urself again...cuz i am complicated...or rather everyone is complicated...certain traits might be easy to spot...but i realise to different people...what i think is my strengths becomes worthless or rather stupidity...

I am going back to my own world of thoughts...at least i won't feel any emotions that will trouble me...

2008-09-15T22:26:00.002+08:00

Back to Post..

Have been really busy these days...haven been online...

I have been working...playing a little and chatting...

Last sat after work went to starbucks@tm... had quite a long chat with helmet...regarding the changes, future, their group and a lot more...I think is after super long that i actually talk to him so much le...but interestingly i think he do understood what i mean....haha...=X

That day...i met an ex-colleague...he was say find one day meet up...i was like ok sure...but i am still trying to find time...suddenly make me feel like meeting more people that i haven been meeting up for a long time...

But for me to want to meet the person up...there are a few conditions:

1) I will only ask the person out for three times, the most five....after that if the person don't bother...that's it...i will still inform out of courtesy but i won't expect that the person will turn up... that is disappointment... hmm...sad to say...in my life there are a few people in this group...

2) Whether there is being effort made? i mean not point telling anyone things that u dun mean it or do not put in effort "I miss u", " I love u" , "I care for u" etc...cuz it does not make sense with the correct actions...ls like "hey...i miss u...we shall meet up" but after that there is no continuous story...is like might as well dun say...I am not pinpointing to anyone...I am just stating what i think about this point and stating an easy example for people to understand...

3) I also do not like people say i will come or most probably i will be there but end up never turn up...why cuz again....back to the word " EFFORT" and it really do reflect on how well u care for the person or the person is in ur heart...

A note: I may be one person in one of the three points above at times...

Sometimes putting in too much effort and not getting what u want it just makes u feel disappointed or rather tired...any type of ships is a two way effort...when one is the only one giving or receiving will get tired de...i got this kind of feeling before...but i know myself i will rebound soon...

I am super tired..cannot sleep always...i think sooner or later i will die of exhaustion...=X
"Grandpa"...i know u worry la...but i am okay de lo...if i can irritate u..means i am alright...=)

Blog soon...take care...

2008-09-12T01:10:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...cuz i have nothing better to do...

Just came back not long ago...Had a rather interesting chat with a friend...interesting yet complicated but is just based on personal opinion and perception...but is still quite interesting...although there might be disagreements...

Work is boring but no work i think i will be more bored...I miss times that there were no worries...But i am relatively still happy...=) These days i am tired but i can't slp...weird right??? haha...ok whatever...being random again...

I shall stop here...

2008-09-09T22:47:00.002+08:00

Back to blog again...

Current mood: Stoning...Mind anyhow wandering...Shows that my brain is functioning...Whatever...I am being LAME...

Okay....was ultimate bored at work...was looking forward to end work...but after work...was as bored...so it does not make me much happier...so it was a day of boredom...okay...Yesterday i broke record again by staying at home the whole day...so proud of myself....=X Okay...many people find it unbelievable because i am known for always out with friends somewhere...but yesterday suddenly just feel like staying at home...=)

A big thank you to Jimmy for the books he bought back for me from Taiwan...I really love the books from “九把刀”is very nice...cuz the characters in his books seems alive and his stories are from his experiences...I like the way he puts different kind of expressions of love into his stories...esp...his attitude towards love “义无反顾”! Although some things he do is childish but it really shows how much his small gestures make a difference to the girl...and be his real self infront of the girl he like...although in the end there was no ending between them as he misses the chance...but both of them wishes one another...a rather perfect ending...I just love his stories...

Just now was talking to a special friend of mine...(I know u will be reading) Mr. "Z"

I think he think is a disaster to know me...but never mind..i will make him change his mind...Haha....he is rather nice...although sometimes too hard to understand...too many levels to uncode...but when i irritate him....he always lose his calmness...still fail to acheive his aim...I know i cannot take for granted...I am trying very hard...I never bully him..=X haha...=X

*see i so good talk about u =P*

I am so going to be labeled as "acting cute+super thick-skinned" whatever...use to it le...Wahaha...

Thinking back...I think i am rather lucky to have many friends that care for me...although many of them are guys..but we all know that we will never cross the boundaries...=) I believe there can just be pure friendship between guys and girls....=) Really appreciate...=)

I miss playing pool...maybe tml go train...hmm....I think now the only things that i do is pool, work, coffee, dessert....I miss Pub...I miss drinking....anyone want to go with me??? Haiz...I am dying of boredom...I shall end this senseless and random post...=X

Take Care...

2008-09-08T13:46:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

I didn't go to work today...=X

Current Mood: Bored to max

This week is going to be a busy week...really busy...i think...haha...at least I got something to do instead of spending my time anyhow think...

Last Sat...went to Oosh for dinner....Okay..I like the ambience...the food is not bad...as for service wise...not very fantastic...was rather slow...anyway was to celebrate sherine's birthday...but one sad thing...I told her i didn't buy her present she believe and when i finally hand her the present she was like....you sure is from u??? I was so hurt...I didn't know my lying skill is so good....hmm...a thought to ponder...after that went to work till 6 am and went home at 7am...

And...woke up at 11am...to go for dinner @ Sakura celebrate Lao Feng's birthday...as usual talk nonsense and everything...after that went to play one game of billard...Okay...I manage to pocket balls at least...but i still prefer pool..Lols...After that they went home...and I headed alone to Marine Parade to play pool alone...Okay...I think this is the first ever time that I was ever alone outside like this...usually i will call people to join me...but this time...i didn't....so end up...I did not have ldinner...cuz i dun like to eat alone...and stayed out till quite late..I think i challenged the limit of my body condition...=X but i survive...

I am finding something to do...I am super bored...can someone sms me??? LoLs...

I keep thinking...Why people always say things when they dun mean it? thus... I rather believe in actions done..cuz actions speaks louder than words...Why people can always hurt others as and when they like and not feel guilty? Why can people act nothing has happen when they have commited a serious mistake? Why ppl can use my weakness against me so easily? And make me realise how dumb can i be...And why can i still forgive and forget??? haiz...time can't turn back...

I am tired of everything right now at this point....

Take care...

2008-09-06T04:09:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...
Just reach home not long ago...

Realise my health has deteriorate...Haven been sleeping well...gastric not as good as before...easily breathless..=( but I will take good care of myself...haha...Trust me...I will

Looking back at the photos...although it has already been a month....I really hope I was there...I miss everyone...every single day...just simple life and nothing else to worry...I thought back here i could close that chapter of my life nicely...I guess i am wrong...Is just i thought...but i know i have to move on...I am trying hard...really...simple days are just luxury moments in my life..thus i miss there...

My wishlist:

1) Manicure&Pedicure
2) Facials and more facials!!!
3) Clothes to fill my Wardrobe
4)Shoes for different Occasions
5) Learn more new things

And the list goes on....

I really want to go Singapore Flyer...I just love ferris wheel...although is slow....but is like so nice lo...haiz...when can i go??? I am being Random...

Was talking about one issue just now...my girl was telling me...you are too soft le la...I know I am....but I just wanted a better outcome but it always different....but whatever it is...Is a past tense issue..Now I just dun want to care anymore..is none of my concern...I just realise...is it too late??? I guess it is never....At least I realise...

Shall stop here...I think I am going to bed...I hope I can fall asleep...I really hope...

To myself: Stop being a fool, girl!!! =)

Photos!!!

2008-09-04T00:02:00.002+08:00

Hope you all enjoy the photos...but is only part 1...cuz there are too many photos le...=X

To China Gang: I hope it does bring back some memories!!!

2008-09-01T00:15:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

Current Mood: Normal =P

Just now was talking on MSN with a friend of mine...who i guess can analyse ppl very well including me...but we only know each other less than half a year...but strangely...he is the one who say that i am a complicated yet someone interesting to understand....but whatever it is...is his advice...Haha...I know what u mean when u say that to me...but is not i can't is i rather not to...whatever future holds is an unknown...but i think even if the ending is the normal way like what u said...it does not really matter..because at least there are memories to reminisic...=X I am being optimistic...so afterall i am not so negative =X But the fear u said might be true...but maybe not...people come and go in life, but most importantly have they left their footprints in your heart...=)

Yesterday..organise a farewell dinner for JQ who is going for OSIP on tuesday...Yups...we ate BBQ chicken and after that we went to arcade and play...It have been really a long time since i step and play in an arcade..seeing them play as usual...really makes my mood a lot better...because they always so happy when they do such things...one of their trait is being simple and just play together there is no such thing as embarrassment although they will still suan one another...they might be like many of us worry about future at times but they rather not focus all their time about thinking...they rather be happy and enjoy when they can...that is why...i treasure their friendship and the times spend with them..=) Although one day the friendship might become not as close if they all have partners...but it does not really matter for now...that is the bad point of having more guys friends then girl friends...Is just something that have to learn to deal with...

True that each day we are getting older...nearer to our twenties...is time to really think what is future...even if i have decided my path...but it might still change due to unforseen situations...so sometimes dun think too far...but cannot dun think...so contradicting right? haha....okay i sound so like someone...OMG...

Shall stop here le...hahaz...Tml got work another tiring day...Take care my friends...

2008-08-30T14:21:00.002+08:00

Okay...I am back again talking to myself...lols...Whatever..

Am i very emo this few days? everyone have been asking me...refer to those who actually care and ask...Lol...I also cannot predict my mood swing...Haha...OMG...

I am stoning now...again...heard some things again...is the same old thing again...whatever..Just need not care anymore..right...remember someone told me Priortise...hahaz...=) Okay...anyway that what i plan to do when i come back SG isn't it...Haha...

Okay...Come back le cannot stand my parents nagging...obviously is the symptons of being outside for like 4.5 months without nagging...thus tolerance level for that go down a lot...Haiz...so sad...But i really cannot stand it anymore....but I am trying to ignore...Haiz....

Being Random again

2008-08-30T02:52:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

I just reach back home not long ago...

Current Status: Stoning

Okay...I have tire myself out totally..why...I look at the mirror...I got a scare....Long time never see myself like that and my back hurts again...Okay...I think on day i am going to black out...but who cares probably no one...

Pondering over few questions about myself...I thought I can handle all these once again but I guess is still hard...at times it still haunts...but I am going to be strong this time...=)

Hmm...I have been working real hard...and soon work is going take away most of my time...sorry my friends....hope u all understand....=) But i will still meet u all if i can...I hope so...With my work piling and driving lessons... I hope I really can...

I shall stop here...such a random post...I am tired and having gastric again...=(

I don't want to be treat like a fool again
I don't to listen to lies over and over again
I don't want the cycle to repeat

2008-08-25T13:02:00.002+08:00

Back to post again...

How am I feeling today? Lost plus Stoned...

Have been working for the past seven days..Back to those crazy working days and schedule..Luckily my body clock can switch back...If not I think I will die of exhaustion soon...=X

Tired....I am physically and mentally drained...Is that what i really want? I dunno...that why lost...But at least every night i need not think so much and sleep...Sleep peacefully? sad to say no...but at least still got rest...=)

I miss those innocent and fun days in sescondary school...
I miss those sitting down with close friends and sharing problems or dreams over a cup of coffee...
I miss those days when I know there is always someone there for me to catch me when i fall back...
I miss those days in Sanya without any worries....
I miss so many things...BUT so? Time cannot turn back...and have to move on..

Looking back at photos...Really miss all those moments...but changes have taken place...so have to accept...Reality is always cruel...a lot of hinders on the road...I use to thought that everything would be fine...but i was wrong...I knew it all along it cannot be always one way...cuz it will eventually hit the limit..and that is it...I never thought it will come so fast...yet i know i have to face it one day...cause of my personality...Mind in a whirlpool....trying to clear out a path...

如果两个人的天堂像是温馨的墙囚禁你的梦想
幸福是否像是一扇铁窗候鸟失去了南方
如果你向天空向往渴望一双翅膀放手让你飞翔
你的羽翼不该伴随玫瑰听从凋谢的时光
浪漫如果变成了牵绊我愿为你选择回到孤单
缠绵如果变成了锁链抛开诺言
有一种爱叫做放手为爱放弃天长地久
我们的相守若让你付出所有让真爱带我走
有一种爱叫做放手为爱结束天长地久
我的离去若让你拥有所有让真爱带我走说分手

如果你向天空向往渴望一双翅膀放手让你飞翔
你的羽翼不该伴随玫瑰听从凋谢的时光
浪漫如果变成了牵绊我愿为你选择回到孤单
缠绵如果变成了锁链抛开诺言
如果你向天空向往渴望一双翅膀放手让你飞翔
你的羽翼不该伴随玫瑰听从凋谢的时光
浪漫如果变成了牵绊我愿为你选择回到孤单
缠绵如果变成了锁链抛开诺言
有一种爱叫做放手为爱放弃天长地久
我们的相守若让你付出所有让真爱带我走
为了你失去你狠心扮演伤害你
为了你离开你永远不分的离去

有一种爱叫做放手为爱放弃天长地久
我们的相守若让你付出所有让真爱带我走
有一种爱叫做放手为爱结束天长地久
我的离去若让你拥有所有让真爱带我走说分手

This song expresses a lot...sad though...

2008-08-23T04:12:00.003+08:00

Back to blog...Now the time is 4:12am....I just reach home not long ago....

Just suddenly feel that I have changed my thinking on a lot of things...be it towards friendship or relationship...but yet for certain things i still trying hard to change...but no matter what others think about your change...it does not matter if u are really happy about it...

Last night went out meet a friend....I received presents...Thank You..Although it took me quite a while to learn how to use that "magic" wallet...so lame lo...somemore i very slow in realising tricks...But really appreciate it alot..although i may always seem bullying you...haha...

A lot of things really have change...changes are taking too fast...the people once you close with may not be as close now...the people once you trust...you may now think twice...the things you use to like, you may dislike now....I am seeing the changes and learning to cope with it...A lot of things use to be habit...but it can be kick...=X

oh ya..ytd went dinner at Jack's Place with Kathy....had a wonderful dinner and we were updating each other with our internship...different learning experiences....once we start chatting time seems to fly...but i really enjoyed the dinner...during dinner she told me one incident which i didn't know...I was touched after i heard that...I can't believe it is from the person, the least i expected...After all at least someone appreciate me...=)

Recently, seeing some of my friends in "emoing" state...It somehow affect me...is a relationship to guys so important? The answer i get is Yes...but y? I am still trying to understand and figure out...

I just realise my post is not in a logical flow today....bits and pieces...sorry to those that read my blog..if ever there is someone...I have no idea what i want to write le...I shall stop here and try to go sleep...

Maybe I should not be so nice anymore.
Maybe is time...I am thinking too much again
I have to be strong this time...It is the end

2008-08-19T23:54:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

I am very tired these few days...don't ask me why? cuz i really have no idea...Physically and Mentally drained...sianz...Tml work again...I know I will survive...=X Sad....everyone say i am tannned or "dark" =(

Things have changed so much in just 4 months....Be it people around me or physical items and I just realise...Have i change? I really dunno..physical appearance...yes to some exent...My thinking...hmm...still exploring...But I still cannot be hard-hearted at times....tell me why?

Have been thinking a lot about future lately...where am i heading to after poly....a big blank right now although there is a path that i want to take...but will it fulfil...i really dunno...if it does...I will be away once again from SG...this time a longer period of time...

Keep listening to emo song recently....haha...dunno why also....but nice le...one day must go K songs....=X

被爱还是爱人好？我比较喜欢被爱。
被爱是幸福的。。。
我不明白为何有些人能把“爱”挂在嘴边可是从不是真心
信任。。。是每段爱情的必要因素
能找到一个你深爱而爱你的人不容易所以要好好把握！
爱情没有永恒，可是每段回忆是幸福的！

ok....I am being so random...Whatever...just some thoughts...relationship is complicated...

I am also complicated...haha...like my friend say i am "someone interesting to "explore" further!"
Although it might sounds abit wrong if u think on the wrong track...=X but he dun mean anything else...

The reason simply is because at different occasions, different people...I display the different sides of me...which is the real side...I really dunno...haha...actually i am easy to understand if u know me well enough...My habits are also easy to accquire....=X But I think no one will be interested in understanding me....=X

I am sigining off....go and lie down and reflect...haha...

爱是无辜的风筝拉扯最在乎的人

2008-08-16T19:32:00.002+08:00

Back to post...

Back in SG for two weeks le...getting use to slowly back to the original lifestyle...fast paced....I kind of miss Sanya lifestyle...living there for four and a half months can change a lot of things...Miss the colleagues there and friends...the times when after work meet at mac and Yang Shen Zhou....go ktv...go clubbing...just slack in hostel...a lot of things together...I think is just that SG has the "invisible" stress there...haiz...really dunno...I will go back to Sanya....although the feeling and the people there might be different...but just want to go there visit some friends...

Anyway...I did call back to my roommate and a friend...they were rather shocked...but we chatted for quite a while...It makes me miss them and think about the times....

These two weeks have been busy meeting up with friends...i am back...

Went out with some of friends to go watch "Love Guru" due to some terms they use in the movie...I dunno really understand and have to ask Kim to explain....hmm...lol...after that went to bishan park there for a drink....a pint of hoegarden....a nice place....nice ambience....love the place...i think if i can drive i dun mind going there to slack with the right people....=)

Went to Vie bar at siglap the other day...Drank two pints of Hoegarden....had a nice chat with some friends and went home....

Busy with work...I am working for the whole of this holiday...admin job...not my kind of job...but the pay is considered high...at chai chee technopark....=X sianz...but the colleagues are friendly...

Wednesday...just went clubbing with the "china gang"...from Zouk hop to MOS....Ok..MOS very crowded...I left early cuz i next day got work...sorry ppl....=X another day ok?? Before that went to Harry's bar for drink with my girls...three martini's...and one of them taste super like medicine...whatever....anyway we did not sip but gulp...my god...but the other two was nice....=)

I also went to watch "Money not enough2" nice show..I cried like mad...okay...the last show i cried was PS I love you on Valentine's day....Is a show about conflict between money and kinships....sad....the songs very nice....i think is a show worth to watch...i planning to eatch again....anyone want to watch?

that all for now...I no time to update le...Must go to work...update tml

2008-08-07T00:36:00.003+08:00

Back to Post...

I am back in SG....

How i feel? Sad when left the hostel on the 1st, the journey to airport...On the plane reaching SG...the feeling was excited to see my friends out at the gate waiting for me and to be back home after 4 months...the feeling is really very different from going on a holiday...

First thing back to SG was to go to Simpang for supper...I had prata...=) After that was pool, I missed the 9 ft table....

Anyway came back with new "looks"... I re-borned my hair again, dye and highlighted. I think everyone was rather shock for those who saw me....=X Is like someone different...lols....but i didn't expect i will make such a decision though....=X

The second day I am back...I went to my cousin b day bbq and after that went to meet friends to play pool

The third day I am back...Was my girl's birthday...went out to celebrate at New York New York...after that we went to Teo Heng to sing....

The fourth&fifth day...Job hunting...and meeting friends up for dinner...And OMG...I haven do my portfolio...is like due on monday...although some kind soul offer to help...but i feel bad...haha...i think if he read this he will be thinking since when i become so humble and nice....=X opps....

I am glad I have made friends on this trip to China...=)

Somethings are no longer the same when i come back...the feelings, the way i perceive things and learn to handle issues is different...I can see some changes in myself...I hope this time i have become stronger...=) I hope history will not repeat just purely what it is right now...I just want to be a happy person...=) I guess i am right now...at this moment....

Just a thought:

有时爱情是在友情的基础上营造的那一定要有准备有可能永远失去友情！所以如果是我，我会选择友情当永远的好朋友应为我没有勇气尝试失去！

Shall stop here...talk about it more when i am not so tired....=X

2008-07-30T03:04:00.002+08:00

Back to post...

I just came back from clubbing...Last time clubbing in Sanya...not as fun as previous times...the music was not right...Okay...I broke a bottle of beer when i reach hostel and accidentally cut myself...lols...careless me...=X

Okay...two more days to go...Last post there is still one week..now left 2....time flies...

The past one week have been chionging project and meeting friends for dinner....Yesterday was our presentation...Everything went smoothly...I said something super classic...and i was mock the whole day...The story goes like that...I was presenting on beach bar promotion on "5 for 6" and guess what....I sddenly loss for words...and i did hand action and said "it is actually 5 bottles of beer in a bucket and add another one for free" My godness..my friends were all laughing...=(

The day before...we stayed in hotel...sort of a farewell previlege...Collected last pay...and went for jest skiing again...as usual i dun have the guts to drive alone...so kim ride and i sit behind....although get to try for a while..It was not as fun as the first time as the jet ski stall a few times and we got stranded in the sea for a period of time when the person came and rescue us..but nevertheless...I still did enjoy...And we went for dinner at another hotel...the buffet was quite nice...a nice and proper meal...we talk and enjoyed ourseleves...went back to hotel slack at beach bar...listen to the band, waves, feel the soft sand beneath ur feet and rock the chair...It was relaxing...after which went back to hotel and chat for a while before we slept...=)

Yesterday...went to shop for local products...as usual I bought a lot without considering the weight limit for lugguage...=X now i am thinking how to bring back everything...=X

Now feel that being in Sanya is "fantasy" , working super slack, need not think about so much things...but the tot of going back will be facing reality...the competitive environment we grow up in and fight to survive...Find job to work and support myself...and many things to think of...but like i used to say "天下没有不散的宴席" every banquet will come to an end one day...so I know i still have to go back and face reality...but coming here...I think i have grow and change my perception on certain things...Go back show u all pictures...=)

Take Care...I go Sleep le...See u all soon...

BTW...my flight details are:

Flight no. : CZ351
Time of arrival:11.05pm
Terminal 1

2008-07-25T17:15:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

One more week to go...And I am back...Okay...as days draw near to be back home...It seems so unreal...Four months ago...We were like there is still 100plus days...time pass so slowly each day..now...in just a blink of eye...7 more days...although most of us...dun feel like going back yet... but we know we have to go back...no matter what...=(

Definately...I will be back to this place...with who? i still unsure...but definately will be back when i can...the best beach in China...

These two weeks have been fulfilling....translating SOP and doing projects that is assigned to us by hotel...Busy Busy...But it reminds us of poly life...=) Another thing...poly life is coming to an end so fast...back in SG...Hols for two months and sch reopen...that is the last sem...and now we are considered as seniors...okay....and we have to chose our path...school or work...dilema...time really flies...in another half a year i will be 20....Wow...no longer start with 1 but 2...cool

Now at Rainbow...a place where we always chill, eat and for now...chiong project...=) The food here is nice...=)

I dunno what to update le...really too many things..come back then say ba...coming here has enable me learn a lot of life lessons...=)

By the way...I will reach SG on FRI, Aug 1st Terminal 1@11:05pm

Take Care people...

2008-07-14T12:58:00.003+08:00

Back to blog...

17 more days...

I have been fine as usual...

The day before went out and shop...can't believe that I spend RMB 300 on just one pair of heels and one dress....=( lols...but i had fun...going out with the hr people...they all very nice....=) And, that day my ATM card got swallowed by the ATM machine just because I press the wrong type of account...so sad...=(

Yesterday,went to a wedding dinner...Cam-whore a lot...=X the wedding dinner is rather different from the weding dinner that we have in SG... their dishes come all at once instead of one by one... and they have different ceremony from us...=X so sweet...then we go to their room and 闹洞房. Quite interesting...=) after that we went to go to KTV and sing songs...Had a happy anf fun day yesterday...=)

A few days before... received a unhappy sms...affected my mood...my fear happen...=( but is like really make me think a lot about next time...whatever..shall not think about it...although the feeling really sucks...but i will try to handle this negative feeling well..is unlike me to go and say anything... i am suppose to be out of the picture....Haiz...

Shall stop here...I going to do some matters...Off today...

2008-07-08T23:06:00.002+08:00

Back to blog...

Today was a real busy day...Had an english compeition partly organised by us with HR...although did not really went smoothly but we had fun....And it was the first time solo like in front of so many people....faints..okay luckily manage to pull it through...=X After that went out with the HR ppl, go eat and chat a lot..Really will miss them....They are very nice people...really...Haiz...=)

Anyway, forget to say some things...

I tried jet-skiing...lols...haha...But of cuz not solo...I dun have the guts...duh....So I went with matt...I was at first the passenger and after that he ask me try...Okay it was fun...Rather exciting...And Kim although was her first time but after a while she got used to it and she splash water on us...pro right? hahaz...

Another thing was that day there was a blackout at the beach due to the construction work done ard the area...and as duty managers that day we went to the beach to check...that night the sky was very nice..full of stars...just like hanging from the sky and blinking...looks really super nice...can u imagine...sitting on a chair, looking up at the starry sky, listening to the waves, feeling the sand under ur feet and wind....Is really a comfortable and beautiful scene...Really will miss a lot when i go back in SG...the scene also reminds me of Perth, Australia where i went there ten years ago...at the farm stay...sitting on the grassland just looking at the stars....so nice...

23 more days to go....and I am enjoying every second to the fullest....=)

Shall stop here...

2008-07-03T13:06:00.005+08:00

Back to Blog...

Sorry haven really been blogging...relly dunno what to blog...Life has been alright in Sanya... Clubbing, Chilling, "Working", Drinking, Singing, Pooling & "Shopping" seems like I am having a good life..lols...Compared to many having attachment in SG...our attachment considered slack le... Coming here...Is more of an experience than gaining knowledge...And, time really flies...4 months plus has just flew past...at the start...it was like still such a long way...but now...only left with anoher 29 days...The thought of leaving here, somehow let me have mixed feelings... If it was 4 months ago, I hope I am back in SG soon...but now, the friends we made here makes leaving not as 潇洒... Guess I will miss them when I am back in SG...Will be back again to visit them perhaps after graduate...=) The last 29 days...I am going make full use of it and leave as many happy memories as possible and enjoy...

The past few weeks have been enjoying myself though...

Last week...Went to attractions here...It is rather touristy place...but I had fun...and I drew lot for career..and got a lot that says...

I am someone who is hardworking and once i set out to do something I will accomplish it no matter what, if there is someone along the way that can guide me along, I will be better on my career path. I will excel better if I am working away from home.

Interesting right? But did the lot out of curiousity...About future shall see again...=) Anyway...I went with my precious and mr. chan...hahaz...We spend almost half a day there...going to the various temple and understanding some culture...The Guan Yin is really very nice..It is four-sided...

Nice Right...The sea also very calm...and it seems that there is an mysterious aura around the guanyin because there is no clouds around her....hmm...

We also went to the Yanoda Rainforest...Quite a nice place..the air was fresh and got quite a lot of interesting plants around..When i get the pictures den upload....=) the rest of the days we spend on shopping on local food...

We also went to Ritz Carlton to have the buffet dinner...it was really nice...there is Bryani lo...=) Miss SG food...388RMB plus 15% service charge...spent in total SGD289...lols...I think on food precious and I spend super a lot...but of cuz....for food that is worth the price...=)

I also went to one of my local friends house and found it interesting...as we lead very different lifestyle and their home is like modern days kampong...everyone is so bonded....=) Interesting...

Anyway..I shall stop here..because got to go work....

To dear friend...These few days working all the afternoon shift rather hard to talk on phone...shall talk to u...when i work morning shift...I will sms u...or drop u an msn msg okay? =)
Take Care..

2008-06-17T11:50:00.002+08:00

Back to Post...

Haven been blogging...cuz a little lazy...Another 43 more days to go...

This few weeks have been working hard and also playing hard...Have been going clubbing with friends most of the times this month....Now change department le...the past few days I am at the operator room....Den now start out in the front desk...Trying to get use to the low peak season of the hotel business...Work had been fun...All the making of new friends and going out with the locals...=)

I am alright...dun worry...the last one month... got to play hard...Will miss this place...the ppl here and some of the food...=) Although there is some unhappiness happen here...but then it is over le..I will be happy for the rest of the time here....must leave some memories...and it must be happy de...All those unhappy memories will be forgotten...=) Must be happy....

I think this trip make me change some ways of thinking over things....and...my dear friend...hope that u will be fine...Take care of urself....dun over work...dun be stress...I dun want see a old man when i go back...=) Must meet me me when I go back...Den we go for supper till late night... Miss you....haven been seeing u online...just u are busy....=)

To my girls...we shall have an outing when i go back just the four of us...and take more pictures....Love you girls...

I shall make time to meet the group soon too...=)

Take care ppl...Miss u all...I lazy to blog le....Will update u all more about my china life when I go back...It will be easier....

Another 5 more days...=)

2008-05-28T14:11:00.003+08:00

Back to post...Another 64 days to go...and back in Singapore...

How have I been? Everyone have been asking me...

I am fine...Just tend to think a lot when I am alone...Miss Home and all my friends...Miss my working life....I am not a workaholic...Lols...Just miss the days when work just make time flies...Thinking of getting a new job...i need motivation in my job..Not slacking away in my job...But now I am learning to work hard and play hard together...So my friends...Next time if u all want to meet...I will do my very best to meet u all...=) Cuz i think spending time with friends is also very important...=X

Now...I am fine...working in housekeeping department...very tiring....cuz make the bed...is not easy....I really 佩服those can work in housekeeping you really need the speed, tolerance and strong observing skills....Haha...=X I think i dun have the tolerance...haha...=X next time go hotel will know what to take note of already...=X So can be more careful....haha...Learning as much as I can....after doing the job...think that it is not a simple job...it requires a lot of stamina and techniques or even patience...haha....Anyway, I am still learning....=X Just went to play with wave ytd and also my friends they all went to catch crab and i just walk along side by the beach..but really had fun ytd....haha....some more got someone sing for me....haha...so good right...=) Thanks anyway...

I dunno what to write le..so is time to reply some notes on blog...

To my dear friend...Please take good care of yourself...sick le...must go see doctor...not thinking that it is not going to harm you....is health mre important or being shy? I do hope that you are alright....Update me when u can okay? anyway i working morning shift nowadays if you want can always call me after 6.30pm....

To Kat...

Is not that I dun want to trust him or give him another chance to prove himself...but is just that how many times he have let u down? Countless till i know each time his way of getting u bk to his side...How well can he treat you? it never last for half a year...each time is you give in to him...change yourself to become him....You may not see these changes but i do...just like the games u play...just like the sport you like...because of him...you gave up alot...in secondary your studies...affected so badly by him...he is not the sun that can bring you smile always...the smile is always short lived....you know it very well but yet u still jump into the hole with bottomless pit....but like i say is ur choice...I tell you what i can but afterall is ur own thing...I just hope that u dun change because of him...whoever that person who tell u accept him for who he is? should tell him that too..accept u for who u are....and love u for who u are...he want us to accept...i think for my case...is not possible...I am sorry that if u hear that u are upset...but u should know it very clear....the hurt he cause to u..i seen to much...the girl whom i once known...innocent and cheerful is gone...replace by someone who always act on a brave front...no longer confide to us like before...fear that we will hate him...Is only when problem is too big till you cannot handle anymore is where you come and tell us...I just hope girl you can find back that glow that you have....and smile like u use to be...a smile that is really showing the world that you found ur happiness...Take care

I shall stop here...going slack somewhere...haha...=) Take Care people....=)

2008-05-20T00:06:00.003+08:00

Back to blog...

On the 12th, went to clubbing at night and have a lot of fun...we drank quite a bit...the next day went to the beach and play...I think i become tan le....=( Anyway...after that went to eat dinner and KTV...

On the 14th went to a club again...went drinking...that day i dunno how many bottles of beer I drink...Lols...Now come china to train beer...To my dear friend...Dun worry about me...I will take care of myself...I won't drink so much...unless i not in a good mood lo...

anyway...heard a story that i find it similar to the scenario i facing but is just role switch...I keep thinking...but i will feel bad...I just hope that everyone will be happy...but i know is hard...Sometimes just dun want to think about it...maybe it will be better...but is hard....cuz is like a knot always tangled...I am trying to think of ways to untie the knot....

Girl...I dunno if u will read...I expected the ending that u will be back with him...after all it always happen...I just hope that u dun regret the choice and live with it...be it happy or not...there is nothing much i can say anymore...just hope he treat u well...he learns to treasure a girl like you...

I just think that love is complicated...dun wish to think for now...falling sick...so I going to slp le...take care ppl...=)

2008-05-12T12:44:00.002+08:00

Back to BLog...Almost ten days never blog le....

How am I now? I am getting on fine....there are people here to take care of me so need not worry....currently just change department...going housekeeping...I think will be very shag...haha...Off two days....

That day, drank 12 bottles of beer shared by 3 of us....LOLs....is 640ml de...cool right...Miss the days drinking at eski....all the funny drinks...sometimes looking through the photos...remind me of the times....haha..I think is true when u "lose" something, you will treasure the thing more...things u once u take for granted, u learn not to...

I dun like disappointment...but face disappointment...Sometimes thinking back all these while...Suddenly got those not nice thoughts again....say out sure ppl scold me de...afterall...not many people can understand...maybe that is just me...dun allow ppl to know what i am thinking what am I hurt about...always putting on a brave front..but yet contradicting myself that I need someone to care....Maybe just like a friend once told me...Sometimes I should learn to let out more of my emotions...But is really hard...that how I am....In front of different people I portray a different me...Just like some people think that i am quiet but actually I am not if u know me well...lols....haha...

Anyway...recently...really got angry with one of my room mate...really dislike people who do not ask things for permision and use....Whatever...just dun hit my tolerance level...I think my tolerance level is still rather high...=X

Shall stop here...maybe tonight going clubbing...=X haha...Go for lunch le

2008-05-01T10:50:00.003+08:00

Back to Post...

Today is Public Holiday in China....Labour day...So is an Off Day...I will like to wish Princess Katrina...Happy 20th Birthday...Can't be there to celebrate for you...But I know there will be many people celebrating for you...is a special day...Hope you enjoy...those unhappy things that have happen...Dun think about it....=)

Haven been updating a while...

Now have been here...A month plus...Settling in well...just that the pace of lifestyle is slower...At times will miss people and my lifestyle in Singapore...ALthough I have made friends here...they are all very nice people...In terms of food...haha...Reply to my tag...Trev...I am trying to adapt but is hard...Lols...nvm treat it as a chance to lose weight...Too fat le...haha...=X Going Hsekeeping department soon...Now really hope that time can fly a little faster...Work...have been alright..low peak season ma...Just that keep changing different shifts....have to get use to it...Body Clock keep setting to different time...

Hmm..That day...My dear friend called...I happy to hear his voice and have a chat with him..=) Hope that he is always fine...I know I not ard...I am being missed...the feeling is a source of motivation...=)

Anyway..Haven been in the best of mood...the feeling just sucks...when you are needed there, you can't b there...I dislike the responsibility i have to carry...I really appreciate those friends that are helping me now...I know no matter what I have to be strong I can't fall...cuz I am at the middle...Really hope nothing bad will happen...just another 3 months i will be back...

Shall stop here...dunno what to say le...

2008-04-16T13:04:00.003+08:00

Back to post...

Today...off today...Hmm How have I been? Fine...I think....Just that tired sometimes due to the different shifts timing...soon going change to split shift again...I dun really like spilt shift though...Cuz I dun have the habit of taking nap....anyway...these few days have been following the manager around..the hotel have been busy with the boea forum...and we get to host the Tanzania President...and I got the chance to shake his hand....Lols..Once in a lifetime to shake a president hand...haha...Although is not our own president....Haha

Was a frien'd birthday ytd...Went to suntan...Lols...but I stayed in the shade cuz I dun want to become dark...LOL...But sitting by the beach gives u a relaxing feeling....=) The beach is nice..the sand is soft and clean...The sea water is clear....The sea breeze is just nice...=) Took a lot of pictures by the beach....=) After which we went to eat at the hotel chinese restaurant....Had quite a lot of fun....After so long another gathering of all the OSIP friends....=)

Coming here..have also learn a lot of life skills and communication skills...Make u change a lot of perspective...Now still on going learning...Tolerance level go up and patience...learning how to take care of urself and more lessons to be learn....Shall not bore u all with all the things i learn...haha....=X

Anyway...Dunno am I lucky or what...I found another friend who is like my dear friend....Who really take cares of me....Why I say he is like my dear friend because they have similar thinking towards r/s and also traditional kind of guy...However they are different in some way...Lols...So Cool right....cuz they are really nice guys....teaching me a lot....=)

To my dear friend...I read your blog...dun be so bothered by all the things...cuz in the end problems will be solved....Dun stress urself so much...haven been seeing u online..so unable to talk to you....and even talk on msn....is like we are always busy....Hope that u can take care of urself....anything just give me a call...you have my number...dun start stressing yourself and end up hurting ur own body again with the irregular sleep and drinks...If u want can also e-mail me...I can talk to u through e-mail...=) Although I am not in Sin Now, but hope that u are well and u can anytime tell me ur probs...I will be glad to listen and help =)

Shall stop here goin to do laundry soon..Cuz going out le....Take Care =) Update soon!